Do your family members want in?

[sdp126]

I've been doing so well on this diet ~ feeling so great ~ having so much success; I think my husband wants in on it.

This morning he said he hasn't been feeling great. Because he cooks for the family while I cook all my meals, he's fatigued, and lately has been cooking quick and easy meals which are missing veggies.

Of course, I'm eating veggies all the time.

He said this morning, "I need to start eating what you're eating."

Now, part of me (the part that loves him :love4: and wants him to feel better), wants to include him. So, I made him Phyllis' yummy zucchini hash browns this morning(he raved).

But, there is a part of me that wants this diet just for myself. And, I'm also tired of always cooking for myself. Do I really want to start cooking for him, too? On the other hand, if we cook together, then he can learn how to cook for ME!!! :)

That second part of me also doesn't want him to drop 10-15 pounds like MEN do so EASILY. It will take longer for me to lose the same amount and I desperately want to weigh LESS than he does.

What's a girl to do? Argh. :)

I think I might make him wait until I start my second 12 weeks at the end of April. Maybe he should go on the diet, too? He doesn't really need to lose weight, although I know he'd feel better around 175.

Tell me what your significant other is thinking. Do they want in on your diet? If so, how do you feel about that?

Suzanne

[PhyllisRis]

Suzanne....you should want whatever is best for your husband!!! Let him start eating what you eat....just in different amounts. He'll probably lose weight by eating healthier foods....and those same healthy foods are perfect for your kids, too. They can even add some carbs to their diets!
I occassionally cook my hubby the same food as I'm making for myself (ie. shrimp, tilapia, etc.) but I make larger portions for him and he adds a baked potato or a different veggie. He doesn't need to lose weight...in fact I'm making sure he DOESN'T as he's in the midst of battling cancer (stage IV lung) and is going through more chemo treatments at this moment in time. But, because I'm eating healthier I think so is he and that has contributed to him doing well with his weight....he's maintaining his weight quite well.
My vote would be to share your food with your family....just cook theirs (or have THEM cook) theirs in a separate pan/dish. It's really ok to share!!! :)
Phyllis

[sdp126]

Phyllis, I'm so sorry your husband is battling cancer. He's in good hands with you.

My husband is, of course, welcome to any food that's in the frig (including the veggies). I just have my hands full cooking 3 meals a day for myself, going to college full time and working part time. I'm thinking he wants me to cook for him, too.

If I didn't have as full a schedule as he does, I might be more gracious about playing the domestic goddess and cooking 2 meals.

Usually, by the time I'm ready to eat, it's late and I'm hungry, and I guess the thought of delaying my dinner so I can cook him a batch too...well, when I'm hungry, I'm not very gracious about cooking for someone who can have anything ~ or can make it himself.

I put a lot of effort into this diet, and I guess I'm just struggling with someone asking me to put MORE effort into it for them, without offering to learn some of the recipes so he can cook for ME at times.

Yeah, I know it's childish. That's why I'm wondering if anyone feels the way I do.

Suzanne

[Dayanira]

Phyllis, what a strong woman you are! Handling your family health issues and going on this diet! Wow! Great to know that his weight is kept on track.

And Suzanne, do what your husband wants. At the end of the day you want him to be healthy too, don't you? My husband is doing his own version of the diet. He eats the same food without weighing it. And he is enjoying it.

[Janeyjane]

My partner is finding that he's eating less bad foods anyway because I'm on the diet. We don't get take aways anymore and I dont buy as much bad processed food now anyway. He may find that he is loosing weight without trying.

You know what men are like - sorry boys! But in my experience, if a guy has actually said that he would like to go on the diet and loose weight, then it has probably taken him weeks to pluck up the courage to admit it and tell you so maybe you can both come to some agreement with the cooking?

I know that if my other half wanted to do it, it would more than likely be me that ends up doing the cooking though but if i'm cooking anyway then its just as easy to have two pans on the go as one. I have to cook him something anyway so in a way it may be easier that it is the same ingredients.

Jane x

[KMac]

Maybe you can take turns. I find the prep work, cleaning the veggies, fruit, weighing, shopping is a huge part of the diet- maybe split that up. I cook my familys meal ( I have 3 boys & my hubby) when I'm not hungry around 5- so I'm not tempted by what I'm making them- but when 6:30 -7 comes around- out of my way! lol
Your hubby might just want to be a part of something your doing, share it w/ him and give him a "honey-do-list":reading:

Goodluck

[KMac]

Phyliss- I am sorry about your husbands illness, I will keep him & you in our
thoughts & prayers.

[sdp126]

I sorta feel misunderstood. I love my husband. He is already healthy and not overweight.

He is welcome to cook alongside me, but, at this point, I am not able to cook FOR him (except occasionally).

I have been taking classes continuously (every semester, including summer and winter) for 2 years. I'm exhausted.

I can cook for him after I graduate in May.

Suzanne

[Shasha]

{hi} there Suzanne

About helping your man:

A wise lady once said: “he can either get there in spite of you or because of you!”

And it’s not hard to tell which one, will be the most fun!!! :love5:

So go ahead and help your man to be the very best he can!!! :wedding:

Why not making the cooking a do-it-together-team-build-project - or you can select different days to surprize eachother with different dishes...

When doing it together, ask him to cut, weigh and fry the steak while you sort out the veggies... this way you get to do kitchen work and talk at the same time.

Tip: I hear what you are saying about being tired: please take a second vitamin each day at lunchtime - I beleive this will help.

[Shasha]

{hi} there Phyllis

I just wanted to give you a :bighug: and another one to your darling husband :bighug:

I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard.
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind).
I asked Him to send treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He be near you
At the start of each new day;
To grant you health and blessings
And friends to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small.
But it was for his loving care
I prayed the most of all!
{praying}

[sdp126]

Thanks Shasha. I've extended the offer for him to cook with me. We'll see if that happens.

Being married to my wonderful husband for 21 years, I know what he's really saying when he says he should be on my diet. He's saying, "I'm tired of doing all the cooking for me and the kids. I want YOU to cook for ME." He wants me to take care of him - to do it FOR him ~ to fuss over him.

That's great. I totally understand where he's coming from, but we are a team and right now I'm working hard to get healthy and get a degree, so I can't baby him like he wants.

I don't think he wants to partner with me ~ I think he wants me to mother him. If he wants to join me - I'm ALL FOR IT.

And what you guys also don't know is that my husband can be passive aggressive and has been known to sabotage, however subtly, my efforts if he feels threatened. But, you can't have known this.

But I really appreciate your input. THANKS!

Suzanne

PS - I'm not physically exhausted - I'm mentally exhausted. I do sometimes take a 2nd multivitamin, but generally, I've got energy - more than my husband does.

[PhyllisRis]

Thank you all for your support, caring and prayers for my hubby! He's doing well, in fact the doctor is always amazed at his tolerance of the chemo. It will be 3 years on June 1st since we found out about the cancer. It's been quite a rollercoaster of emotions and treatments! The first summer Tom endured chemo and radiation simultaneously. It all was successful as it killed the cancer in his lung!! But then little spots in his bones have kept creeping up. Chemo has successfully kept them at bay or gone away entirely. He was on a maintenance drug for about 3 months over the winter but the last PET scan in January showed little tiny spots again. So...back on the chemo. He has another PET scan next week and we'll see how well the chemo is working this time. Eventually the chemo regimen he's been on all along will probably not be affective anymore but his oncologist has assured us that there are other mixtures of chemicals that he can use. May 5th will mark our 30th wedding anniversary this year and I just pray that he'll be around for many, many more years....but it scares and saddens me when I think that he may not have much time left on this earth. BUT...then I think that we NEVER know how much time ANY of us have until our Lord calls us home. He could be taken from me in a car accident on the way to a doctor's appointment just as easily as the cancer getting him!! So we should make the most of every day He gives us. THAT is one of the reasons that prompted me to give this diet (the best one in the world, I may add) a go! THAT plus I need to be in good health in order to take care and support my hubby and my best friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer last summer AND my "baby" (23 years old Air Force lieutenant) who also was diagnosed with borderline carcinoma when her huge ovarian cyst was removed last October. My friend has gone through chemo and is almost finished with her radiation.....she's doing really well and I've been there for her through the whole journey. Our daughter just got a good report at her 3 month follow-up with her gynecological oncologist... all is fine with her. They will be watching her extremely close for a long time as the ovarian cyst things tend to re-occur. According to the Mayo Clinic and the Baylor University pathology depts. removal of the cyst intact and the removal of her ovary were curative measures.
Every time in the past that I've tried to lose the weight and get in shape the Devil has thrown something in my path which has managed to derail any diet or exercise routine! The latest was Tom's cancer which caused me to stop my daily walking routine. Well, this October when our daughter was in need of surgery I stared the Devil in his proverbial face and told him NOT THIS TIME! YOU HAVE NO HOLD ON ME ANYMORE! I WILL NOT LET THIS GET IN THE WAY OF MY DIET!! I TRUST ONLY GOD TO GET ME THROUGH ALL THE ROUGH SPOTS IN MY LIFE THAT YOU CAN THROW AT ME!!! Hopefully he got the message!!!!
I never wanted to learn so much about cancer and it's treatments...but I"ve learned a LOT and have tried to be the very best support and patient advocate for the loved ones in my life! And I'm happy to let some of that support spill over into this Forum!! So....cherish all the little moments in your lives.....and when you really want to scream cuz something someone close to you drives you nuts...step back, breath deeply and think about how different it would be without them and let those little annoying things fly away out the window!!!
You guys are great and I'm glad you're all here supporting ME!!!!
:party8::hug:

Phyllis

[Aqua Eyes]

BIG HUG TO YOU Phyllis! Thank you for sharing this with us. If you can keep on your diet with all of this going on in your life you can do so much more! You are a huge inspiration to me. Thank you for all of your contributions on this forum. Bless you and your family!

[sdp126]

God bless you and those you love Phyllis.

You're an amazing woman.

Suzanne

[vbrodie]

Phyllis,

You are absolutely incredible. Your loved ones are blessed to have you in their lives as a comfort, advocate and friend. I cannot even imagine how strong you are to be facing what you do on a daily basis. My thoughts and prayers for your continued strength go out to you..

With much gratitude for friends like you,
Victoria

[4MAMA]

Hi Phyllis, thank you for sharing, and allowing all of us to pray for your husband and daughter, and most of all for you! God really loves you and trusts you to be His instrument through out all that has come before you.

We are but servants before God, and you approach everything so gracefully. You are your husbands best advocate. He has survived because of your undying loyalty. Now it's your turn to take care of you, too. It's always been a part of God's plan...

Please continue to inspire us! Treasure every moment with your husband. My Dad succumbed to Kidney cancer 3 years ago. He was only 63. I would give anything to have back home sitting on his chair...but since I cant, it has taught me to cherish my mother even more!!

Have a blessed week.

Kelli

[Key]

Phyllis - you are such a joy, I love reading your comments. You're sincerity and grace are so present in your writing, it's like you're sitting across the table from me.

My heart goes out to you for all the trials you're experiencing.

Key

[Shasha]

[Nana]

Phyllis,
You amaze me! You are so kind :innocent2:and wise!:reading: I have read several of your posts and find you to be such a wonderful person. You are an inspiration to all of us. I hope everything goes well for your sweet husband! My husband and I celebrated 30 years in December, so I know how much you mean to each other! Isn't it funny how it takes time together to fully appreciate each other?! A big hug goes out to you and all of your family!{grouphug1} Love, Nana

[PhyllisRis]

Shasha.....that is a great picture...it looks like a computer keyboard key...that would be great to put on my keyboard!!! LOL

Thanks everyone for all your kind words....I'm thankful that I can support you all and add a little touch of humor to your lives, too!!!! :)
Phyllis

[KMac]

nice new picture Phyllis-you look great!

[sdp126]

Phyllis - ditto what KMac said - your new profile picture is gorgeous.

Suzanne

[Key]

Phyllis - your new picture is amazing! I wouldn't know it was the same woman. Congratulations.

Key