Fallen from my mighty high horse

[Hugentobler]

Well.... It is confession time... After 14 weeks, 6 days, and 2 hours on this diet...I have fallen from my all mighty high horse, and I can't get back up.... Yesterday, it was with 1/2 cup of chicken salad and a bag of crackers and today it was two cheese coneys. I have prided myself on not cheating on this diet. I threw a bridal shower at my house where I made all the food...made homemade fudge...and I never cheated. I made it through a week a teacher appreciation luncheons where each day the PTA made amazing lunches....and I didn't cheat. I have been through numerous evenings out with friends ...and have never cheated. So what happened Friday and today. I don't know!!!!! Cheating has not been an option for me...It has not been acceptable.... So after yesterday, I told myself this was just a little hiccup and I could just brush it off and go forward....Well, I can't...see what I did today. It is like I am shooting myself in the foot and I don't know why! I am loving my new body. I just got into a size 12 on Friday so I am seeing the rewards of my efforts. I love all the praise I am getting for my new body. I love when people comment on my willpower. I have been so proud of that. So why did I do it?

What scares me the most is that two years ago I lost 60 lbs. on another diet and was at this exact same weight when I stopped the diet and gave it all up and ended up gaining 50 lbs. of it back.

How do I get up on my horse again and finish this journey? Who can I be accountable to? How do I stop this spiral downward?

My sweet diet buddies...I know you all are there for me with all your sweet comments and support...but what I need is a swift kick in my...

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest... Now I am going to take this one meal at a time. I am starting fresh. I am going to get up and drink my water, get my chicken out for dinner. I am going to use this thread to make myself accountable one day at a time... so hang in there with me...

Thanks for listening....

[Katra]

Looks like I am the only one who isn't out Saturday morning doing something fun and I am really new at this and I want to offer you support, so much.

I think your own comments may lend you the best support of all. I noticed that you said the last time you got to this weight you also stopped and then regained. Might I suggest it is an emotional block? Perhaps you could search your mind for a time before the last time that you weighed this much and see what was going on in your life. Perhaps you cannot fully see yourself at your goal weight and want to self-sabotage or as you said, "shot yourself in the foot" But let me ask you if I were the one who was stumbling what advice would you give me?

Imagine you can push past this weight block and realize you have control over food and it isn't the other way around! You have done so well and come so far to give up now.

I am sending you hugs and words of encouragement to push thru this and come out on the other side.

I hope this helps! Be well! You can do it!

[lfulwood]

Amylynn,
I think you have the correct approach to get back on the band wagon. One meal at a time is the only way to gradually ease into it.

I too have slipped up, and unfortunately, one slip up leads to another, then another. It a vicious cycle.

As we have all been told, you didn't gain the weight overnight, and losing 45 pounds in 14 weeks is extremely hard, but hey, YOU did it! So quit beating yourself up over the straying ways and refocus on the goal straight ahead, just as you said, one meal at a time!

[bitten]

amylynn-

you know you can do this, because you have....BUT YOU HAVE TO WANT TO DO THIS more than anything else. you have to be selfish and put yourself first....my goodness, you have 27 lbs left til goal, please get your head back in the game. realize that the slippery slope is close by at all times...BUT NOT AN OPTION.
commit to yourself and take this one day at a time, one hour at a time.
only you know why you allowed the deviation to happen and only you can stop them in future.
your loss of 45 lbs is super amazing and you deserve to finish the job you have started-
you are so worth this, just do it-
bitten

[Bronwyn]

Oh my dear Amylynn!! You have gotten some excellent advice from our fellow diet buddies above. I agree with Katra that perhaps at this weight, which you say you've achieved before, you emotionally run into a bit of a stumbling block. First of all, you do feel and look amazing so it's easier to let the mindset of "only one cheat is okay" because you are getting comfortable with how you look. Then there is the self-sabotage aspect which may be occuring too in which we are afraid to be the best we can be and to look the best we can look. You have to do it for you and for no one else.

I suggest you go back through some of your old posts because it's almost like reading a journal. Remember where you were mentally and physically when you started this diet vs. where you are now. Think how disappointed you will be in yourself if you don't finish and that all that willpower you've managed to attain will have been in vain. We are here for you no matter what you do. I am proud of what you have accomplished and I know how hard it is. Just pick up and take it a minute, hour, day at a time like you said and I know you can do it. You're on the home stretch!!! No giving up now!!

Keep us posted and next time maybe post before you cheat so we can give you that hard kick in the #@?! that you requested!

[LesKiya]

Ok Amy, you've been feeling good and so part of you wants it to be over. You have to think of your goal though and think about going back up to the weight you were when you started this. You've done this before and you know what happened. Sit down and seriously consider what the Doctor says about "if you don't get all the way down, and get it ALL off, you will regain your weight." Think about how much mental effort and work this diet has been, and what strength its taken to get this far and you've been doing it. Do you want to get back into a situation where you have to do it again, all this time lost??

Starting in the morning, get up, weight that food, pack your lunches and dinners and get back to the diet. Don't stop now.

I have to tell myself this everyday and especially every time someone tells me how good I am looking and "I can't believe you still have more to go!" I respond, "I've still got a ways to go but thank you!"

I know and we all know, you can do this.

[bitten]

just checking in to see if you are ok....
bitten

[Shasha]

{hi} there AmyLynn

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place! You've asked for a {pan} but what I believe you really need is :comfort: because when you ate them wrong goodies your blood sugar soared and then droped too low too fast and then your body was not able to produce enough serotonin - your mood enhancing or otherwise known as your happy hormone. Serotonin also controls the craving for food, especially starch so if your body is not producing enough serotonin you will feel like you are in the mood for food all the time.

At this time I'm guess you are feeling down and in the dumps for having come so close and now this setback and that's why I'm not prepared to give you anything less than a :bighug:

Of course you need to get right back on track and not make 2 deviations 3, 4 and more... Please read my post HAVE YOU FALLEN OFF THE BUS... I believe this will give you a lot of insight...

Then make a quality decision that this is where you draw the line. No more eating rubbish stuff! Sure you've had a setback, but THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE HOW YOUR SUCCESS STORY ENDS! You've got all of us here, literally pushing you upward and forward!

Yes, be accountable to all of us! Come and tell us 3 times a day how you are doing? Are you still on track?

Focus on other ways to eliminate stress, walking, reading, bubble bathing, deep breathing... Remind yourself that you have come to far. You are in control, not the food.

Above all, believe in yourself, your hopes and your dreams! YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU CAN! YOU CAN!!

For the next week or so, please avoid the yogurt and the cheese options because they are the least filling meals and without serotonin you will probably feel hungry. Then take a second vitamin each day at lunchtime, remember that your vitamin B6 level must be below 5 mg per day or it will trigger hunger.

Furthermore, plan to have regular snacks between meals to help to keep your blood sugar stable ie: have half an apple cooked in diet cola soda at 10:30 am and again at 15:30 pm... this will help with cravings and also to stabiles your blood sugar.

Maybe take a fibre supplement such as Duphalac, Linseed or Psyllium Husks as well. This can really help you!

I WANT TO SEE A GOOD REPORT FROM YOU TODAY STILL! You are not allowed to go AWOL or MIA on us...

[Hugentobler]

Sorry it took me so long... I was trying to type between teaching classes.


WOW!!!! Girls you are amazing. I spent the weekend thinking about your advice and why I took the nose drive off the horse....

Well, I am ready to climb up on the horse again and grab a hold of the reigns and finish this race.

Katra- Your question/advice was the most perfect response. I spent the weekend thinking about what advice I would give someone in my situation (I loved how you turned that around.)

My advice:
1. Recommit. Focus on the end goal (Thanks lfulwood). Create a visual to help see the end.
I’m going to create some type visual. Maybe I’ll stick a picture of me up with all the fat circled!!!! I’ll post it on the refrig…. Wouldn’t that be scary!

2. Get your supports in line.
I had a heart to heart with my husband especially after he started teasing me about the Cheese coneys. He was trying to make light of the situation. I asked for his help in reaching my goal. I have a diet buddy who I can be accountable too (Thanks-Karen)… and have my forum support that I WILL use BEFORE I cheat (Thanks Bronwyn)

3. Develop a plan.
I am taking the time to plan out my meals. I measured them out on Sunday and pre packaged them. (Thanks Leskiya)

4. Get a theme song-
“Get your head in the Game.” From High School Musical. I listen to that some hundred times a day in the car. It is now my motivation. (Bitten-Thanks for the idea).

5. Believe in Yourself. (Thanks Shasha).
I think I lost that along the way. But I know I can do this.

I can’t tell you how much your support means!!!! You all have fabulous responses. Please know that I have printed them off and I’m going to put them on my bathroom mirror. This way I will be reminded that I have the support of the best diet buddies and there are people who believe that I can do this diet and REACH MY GOAL. I love you ladies.

[Shasha]

{hi} there AmyLynn

I'm so glad to see you've BOUNCED BACK!!! I've been hanging around just waiting for you to post and now that you have, my heart cries out a loud:


YAAAAAAY for the SLIM AMYLYNN!!! {cheerleader}
The new skinny you is winning that former fat chick who is about to be buried and the last nails are going into the coffin as these last few pounds leave and get shaken off for good!!!


{wave} from all of us {wave} to cheer you on!

Remember to avoid the yogurt and cheese and to take the extra vitamin at lunchtime... this will really help!

[Hugentobler]

Please pardon all the grammar mistakes in the earlier post. I can't type and teach at the same time.

Well, I am happy to report that I made it through the 3 meals yesterday (sadly...I had little voices in my head tempting me.)

Today, breakfast and lunch are done and I WOULDN'T let those little voices in my head speak!!! I'm feeling like I did in the beginning with a renewed excitement.

Shasha- I am going to try some of the fiber. Lately, I just don't feel full when I am done. I have never had that problem til lately. I have tried taking the second vitamin. I have been taking one at lunch because they make me feel like I need to throw up if I take it earlier. But I will definitely try the fiber. I'm also going to try scheduling my snacks. This is were the downfall started with the whole package of crackers. I'm going to put them into separate ziplock bags.

You guys are the BEST!

[bitten]

amylynn-
you sound wonderful and motivated and determined.

well done you-

bitten

[falcor]

Wow, 45 pounds lost, that's quite an accomplishment. But the best adive or help I can give is like you said and what all the other diet buddies seem to be saying is, one meal at a time, and be sure to forgive yourself, people can't be perfect all the time, we goof up, but then we pick ourselves up, and take that first step in the right direction again and keep going, and it sounds like you have picked yourself up and taken that first step with thinking about the one meal at a time and for posting here, so all I can say is keep going, we are here if you need us.

[Hugentobler]

Falcor and Bitten- Thank you for your support. I'm feeling good and back on track.

[Shasha]

{hi} there AmyLynn

WELL DONE! You survived DAY 1! That is really GREAT and we are all very proud of you: NOW KEEP GOING !!!

You mention:
I had little voices in my head tempting me.

Good news is you're not going nuts!!! {noway} & YAAAAY! :jumping2:

Those little voices are there because you're serotonin levels are not balanced due to the rise and fall of blood sugar. Remember that serotonin controls the craving for food, especially the craving for starch. It's quiet amazing what a little hormone can do hey?!

Remember, if this hormone is really very low a person can end up feeling really depressed ~ this puts new light on YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT...

Go and make it a super slimming day today! Okay? {cheerleader}

[LesKiya]

We're all pulling for you and we can all do this thing. I'd highly recommend the Phyllis Husks fiber pills or powder. I have been taking this for about 3 weeks and find it really really cuts back on that hungry feeling. (It also seems to ease a bit of constipation and that's why I originally started them.) I regret not looking at those from the start.

Leslie

[Shasha]

{hi} there AmyLynn

How are you doing??? Surviving and victorious I hope??

The first three days or so are the hardest... just keep going, you can do this! We are here for you!
:bighug:

It will get easier - just keep your eye on your goal: What size do you want to be when you are done?

[Shasha]

{hi} there Leslie

YES, extra fiber can make a huge big difference when it comes to feeling good and keeping regular... :flirt: kinda like a double bonus!

Just remember if you add more fiber you should add more water to keep things moving along your digestive track...

[Hugentobler]

Thank you for checking in on me. Everything is back to "normal". I only had one bad day. I bought some fiber....WoW that was an overwhelming process. I had no idea what I was looking at. So I took the jump and bought one. I accidently got one that you had to dissolve in water and drink.... I can only say one word....GROSS!!!!! That was a wasted $11.00. Leslie, I am going to try the Phyllis Husks Fiber pill. I still don't feel full after eating which has never been a problem. So hopefully, this will solve that problem.

[GettinSkinny]

Hugentobler, glad to see you back on the bus with us!!!! We missed you!!!! :) Just keep on keeping on. I know you can do this!!!!

[bitten]

congrats on getting back on your high horse!!!
bitten

[Bronwyn]

Amylynn I'm go glad you're back! You can do this all the way and I'm looking forward to watching you succeed! You ROCK!!

[Iisrias]

Hi Hugentobler - hope all is well today and that you're feeling hapy and healthy again!

Bronwyn - I see your ticker has moved! Congrats on getting to below the 4 lb. mark! Woohoo! I keep changing my ticker on the update page, but for some reason it converts back to the original...I guess when I finally figure it out, it will look like I had a REALLY good week...hehe.

Have a great night all!

[Bronwyn]

Thanks Iisrias! Yes - I guess I should post my 16 week progress. I've been so busy I forgot. I'll find a good thread to do that in.

[Shasha]

{hi} there AmyLynn

I'm glad to hear you are doing okay, just concerned about that hunger ~ it will take your hormones a few days to come back into balance...

I'm hoping it happens sooner rather than later for you! Please stay strong {bighug}

[Sarah Leigh]

You're HUMAN! Thank you for being so generous with us about how things have been for you. thanks for putting yourself back in the game.

I have been on the 1st Personal Who? program for 2 weeks. I reverted to my old habits of stress eating. My husband & I just bought our first house ever & the conditions to get our file cleared to close were crazy! (I'm a 20 year mortgage banking veteran so I actually know they were crazy). THEN we moved into our fabulous house & the cable company started a fire!!!! All is well now but OH MY!

I didn't want to go anywhere for help, I just wanted to do what I've always done. So I did. But I gave myself a time limit & got right back on the program this past Tuesday 'cause that's when I said I would AND I'm not beating myself up. this is a journey & there are going to be bumps & bends. If I can contribute anything to anyone on this message board it will be for all of us to be gentle & generous with ourselves as we bring something new into existence.

You all are probably so able to "forgive" my detour. Are you able to be that kind to yourselves? anyway, I'm just so grateful for all of you, for this message board, for this food plan & for learning new ways to be. I'm scared to be thin - I don't know how, but I'm willing to not know & go for it!

Thanks to everyone!

[bitten]

hi sarah-

thanks for being so open and honest...i think most people lapse at some point and even if they don't they understand, this is a very restrictive program....but it works.
glad you are back on target.
how exciting to have your own home.well done.

enjoy-
bitten

[Shasha]

{hi} there Sarah Leigh

Thank you for sharing this wonderful input - obviously the best way to do the 1st Personal Diet Program is to follow it 100% from start to finish... and although there are Diet Buddies who do manage to do just this, for some, 100% is just not going to happen.

In this case I agree 100% with you, one must be able to see a setback for what it is ie: not the end of your program, but a setback from which you can and should rise up and get back on track again ~ this is a road that needs to be walked and yes, sometimes one may need to sit down and take a rest, for some this can even mean taking a few steps back. The big key is to take control again and to keep on moving forward - always keeping your destination or goal in mind... NEVER GIVE UP on your dream and goal and hope of getting to GOAL. YOU CAN DO IT!

I'd like to mention a TIP regarding vulnerability - we should all try to keep close taps on our emotional triggers and keep a careful look out for the HALT Syndrome - HALT simply stands for HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, TIRED - these are times when anyone is most vulnerable to relapse back into their old former drug of choice and for lots of Diet Buddies, this drug (that you relied on to feel good) was food...

So, it's important to plan, to eat regularly, get enough sleep and then when things do happen that make you feel angry or lonely, try to recognize this and deal with those feelings in another way other than food...

Changing ingrained habits will probably not happen overnight, it's going to be a skill that you need to practice and apply until the new healthier habits become your new nature... remember it's a process... keep aiming to do better and I really believe you can and will achieve your goals...
{cheerleader}

[Bronwyn]

Hi Sarah Leigh,

I'm so glad you shared with us and that you're back on track. I completely understand why you went off program and think you did a great job in setting your date to get back on track and then sticking to that. Do check out the "Have you fallen off the bus?" post that Shasha started about a month or so ago. It is an excellent description of what happens to your body when you go off plan.

It sounds like everything has evened-out a bit in your life and with your new home (congratulations by the way!), but I would also suggest that you try to find another outlet for when you get stressed other than eating. I know it's hard, but challenges in our lives are ongoing so if you can try to change your behavior with regards to how you deal with stress then you'll have an easier time of maintaining your healthy lifestyle and weight in the future. Anyone have any ideas for alternatives to eating when stressed?

[Shasha]

{hi} there Bronwyn

I somehow missed this post… don’t know why I didn’t see it as one of my new posts?? Maybe I pushed a wrong button or maybe my cat walked on my pc or something.

:thinking: about this whole thing of stress and eating… if someone eats off their diet program because they are feeling too stressed the very deviation actually only adds more stress to the problem ie: it makes it worse.

Most of our Diet Buddies know that the program works – have even experienced those wonderful results. If they then go and eat because they feel stressed, it actually stresses them out more than anything else! For one, there’s guilt, there’s failure feelings, there’s stomach ache and not feeling well, blood sugar yo-yo’s – so, MORE stress is added… Some people can even hide the deviation from family because they don’t want anyone to think less of them… they feel embarrassed etc. big time stress.

When you think about it, it never makes sense to eat because one is feeling stressed. Particularly because of the major internal conflict this will cause: You already know that the program works and you know that you desperately want to follow through and reach your goal, that you will feel fabulous and look terrific when you do. And, you know that eating bad food will set you back, upset your hormones, derail your progress and delay your hopes and dreams from coming true!

I believe it is very important that every Diet Buddie set up for themselves a good healthy support structure – try to have someone that you can be accountable too! It helps to have a friend or family member that you can phone when you are feeling down.

Make your environment safe: don’t keep a jar of sweets standing on your desk or cookies in your drawer… the moment you do stress you will go onto auto-pilot and reach for old bad habits… So, you need to set your environment up for your success and remove old stress crutches…

It also helps to surround yourself with your goal ie: make your dreams grow and become a reality - you can do this by setting up a structure ie: rewards - say: if I loose 5 pounds and follow my eating plan 100%, I will book time out of my busy schedule to spoil myself with a manicure or something you like. Maybe flowers, maybe perfume - something special for you. Find a different reward structure other than food. I also love what GettinSkinny is doing with those paperclips!! Only she and we know the meaning… and if it’s up in her office nobody else would probably even dream of asking ‘what’s this’ – the only time I can see a problem is if someone thinks to try to borrow a paper clip from there… LOL! :flirt:

If you are feeling stressed you need to address what is the cause: you need to know what is causing your stress? what can you do about it? Can you make a clear list of things to do, then tackle them one at a time? Draw up a plan of action - make time to think about what will solve the problems instead of going onto automatic feed my face mode, which clearly accomplishes nothing but negativity in any case.

If you feel stressed by something that you cannot change, well, maybe it is something that you need to accept and the best way to get around that is by changing your attitude towards that thing or situation…

Sometimes I think we just get stressed by having too much to do for too long - in this case change the way you schedule - book into your diary time to relax! Try to do less in a day and plan better – ie: slow down! if you know it takes 30 minutes in time to get somewhere, don't try to get there in 20 minutes, (you will feel like grabbing chocolate bars) rather schedule 40 minutes and have time to spare, to feel the sunlight and enjoy the ride…

Try to surround yourself with de-stressing things: maybe a candle with some lavender oil, soft music, take a bath - try deep purposeful breathing you will be amazed at how often we take shallow breaths. Mild stretching exercises – even if you are sitting behind your desk typing, you can take a few moments to stand up, stretch down and around, move your neck from one side to another... there are lots of things you can do to help you to relax.

A good book, talking a walk, and some time just taking a break or making time to think about your life and what it is you want to achieve… and how you will go about this.

Some people find shopping a de-stressor other people love massages or playing golf. Different hobbies… For some it’s the TV or movies… basically I think we need to stop running and start enjoying our lives a bit more – eat to live and not live to eat and then start taking more time to do the things we love… so, with that, I’m off to find a book that I’ve been meaning to read… :party1:

[Amber]

Hugentobler,

Thank you for the nice summary you made from everybody's advise - I'm going to print that and put it on my fridge. I'm sure it will help us newbies to the Cohen club!

I hope all is going well.....

[Hugentobler]

Amber- Thanks....I hope it help! Good Luck.

[flwrgrlie]

Amylynn,
Just wanted to check on your progress. I was sorry to hear you had fallen but having been there myself I completely understand where you were coming from. I'm having a harder time this go round of getting back on in regards of not being tempted to cheat. When I first started this program there was no deviations for me. Nothing even tempted me because I was so focused on my goal. I"ve lost 40 lbs (I need to update my ticker) but since I've fallen, even though I'm not deviating, I'm tempted to like I never was before. Are you experiencing the same thing? If so, how are you combating it? I think part of it may be that my mind is aware I am going away for my 10th wedding anniversary in one week. I'll be gone (and without my kids) for 10 days. Just me and my hubby! We're both very excited. I don't plan on being bad but I know I will enjoy some drinks occassionally while I'm on vacation. I need to read the vacation tips log to see how to best handle this situation. Anyway, just wanted to check it with you to see how you are doing. You've always been an inspiration to me in this forum. I know you can hop back on and you will meet your goal and stay slim FOREVER!!

[Shasha]

Hi there :flower:Grlie

{congrats} on your 10th :wedding: Anniversary!! Hope you both have a wonderful time!! and that you and your Hubby will enjoy many happy love filled years together :love5:

Please do your best to follow those travel tips so that you don’t undo your progress, then, make a decision now already, that when you come back you will do your eating plan 100% until you reach your goal weight.

That being tempted to eat wrong feeling shows that your serotonin levels (which control the craving for food, especially starch) is probably not as balanced as it should be… The only way to fix this is to follow your eating plan 100% - so, enjoy your trip and when you come back, it’s shoulder to the wheel again… is that a deal???

[flwrgrlie]

Sasha,
Sorry I've been bad again. BUT, not with food! Just with not logging on. Sometimes life gets so hectic I can't seem to find the time. I always find such positive motivation here and it really does help me to stay focused. I've been good on the diet and you are definetly right, when I'm 100%, I don't crave the other foods. It is such a good feeling to have power over my self to choose not to eat something I shouldn't. It's very liberating and inspiring. My confidence levels soar! I'm going to do the best I can on my anniversary vac but I am completely committed to getting back on 100% when I get back. I look forward to updating you all with my progress. See you in 12 days!

[Bronwyn]

Happy Anniversary Flower Girlie!! Have a wonderful trip and we'll look forward to hearing from you when you get back.

[Shasha]

{hi} there :flower: Girlie

Vacation time is a nice time to sometimes sit with pen and paper for an hour or so, just to plan you weeks ahead… what your goals are, how you are going to achieve them, what to do, what not to do, things to avoid, maybe set some rewards and yes, when you get back it’s going to be 100% NOSE TO THE DIET, no matter what!!!


:love5: ENJOY!!! Your special time together :love5: