Had a bad couple of weeks and need some help

[GailStout]

Hi -- I haven't been on very much for the past couple of weeks...for both good and bad. My son is about to graduate from college, and has had concerts, events, recitals, etc. at which I was required to do the "mom thing" -- and provide reception food. I haven't actually baked since before the diet in February 2007, and oh GOD it was hard to make all of my "usual favorites" and NOT eat them. I had to make about 30 dozen cookies, brownies, tarts, etc. for two different receptions, and it made me crazy.

I DIDN'T eat the sugar and chocolate, but I DID overindulge on my REGULAR foods -- handfuls of crackers vs 2, more protein than I was supposed to have, more veggies. I didn't eat bad foods, but I OVERATE on the good foods.

Then last Sunday my daughter was in an accident. What happened was this:

Lauren had taken my car on Sunday to services at a hindu temple in Haslett (a little northeast of Michigan State University) to do research for her Albion College eastern religions class, Albion not being a "hotbed" of eastern religious activity. She hadn't brought any food with her, and the temple was out in the sticks -- no stores of any kind. She was tired and hungry and missed a turn on the way back to school.

She says she glanced at her directions and her right front wheel went just a bit off the road. She overcorrected, spun, and went through a barbed wire fence, crashed into a stand of trees, and ended up going through them into a pond which thankfully was only 18" deep -- actually it was a flooded field.

She says she doesn't remember getting out of the car and getting to the road, but by the time she realized she was on the road (wearing a long skirt that was soaking wet) there were already neighbors there helping her. A very kind county sherriff called us, called the tow truck (Lauren was 50 feet off the road in the middle of a POND), and stayed with her until after we got there. He was incredibly kind, and said that "for a first wreck, this one was quite impressive!" and made her laugh. All of the neighbors were there; one grandmotherly type brought Lauren some dry socks to put on, and all helped her calm down, thank God.

So many things could have happened.

She didn't flip the car, she didn't hit anyone else, she wasn't garroted by the barbed wire, she wasn't impaled on a tree branch through the windshield (how, I'll never know -- she put her car through the ONLY place where that couldn't have happened), the pond was only 18" deep and she didn't drown...incredible.

We had the dealership pick it up and take it back to Ann Arbor, where we live, where we found out that there's at least $8,000 just in body work to fix, plus any electronics or mechanical parts to replace. Not quite totaled. Lauren is a little bumped (her knees are swollen, the most incredible shade of purple and green, and her neck is stiff).


The upshot of all of this is that even though I've lost 112 pounds, I've NOT lost my tendency to EAT UNDER STRESS. I've eaten NO bad foods, but I've still gained nearly 10 pounds in the last week. I'm incredibly upset with myself for making this stressful time be one where I've added to the problem by gaining weight -- for the heavier I am the worse I feel.

So, the question: I've gained ten pounds (1 more than the 9 pounds allowed on the Life After The Diet guide). Do I re-enter the program or try to handle this by going back on my original diet? The sressors are still there, and I screwed up big time.

Please know that I don't really want any sympathy on this -- I just want to know what to do next. I think I'll do well if I'm ordered to do SOMETHING! :-) That seemed to work for me before.

HELP! Gail

[Shasha]

{hi} there Gail

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter's accident -that is TERRIBLE!!

Thankfully she is OK - yes it could have been worse like you said, the good news is that it is not - she is alive and well... Phew!!! Sigh of relief!!! And thank God for BIG mercies!!

In any case, just from reading your story my nerves are shot, I can almost FEEL your tension right through cyberspace onto my pc screen! To have someone you love so dearly go through this ordeal is HORRIBLE to say the very least, so before any advise, here is some comfort for you first: :comfort: I hope that you feel much better soon!

Please don't beat yourself up too much, Rome was not built in one day and, anyone can have a setback. Changing your life long patterns won't come overnight. This last week must have been very, very difficult for you to have gained back 10 pounds. The good thing is that you are not going to allow 10 to become 20. This business of gaining unwanted weight stops here and now and today still... (Hope that is strict enough for you ?)

I'm thinking these invader 10 pounds are all still 'new' fat and some may be water retention, so I believe the time to act is NOW. By act I mean get right back onto following your original Cohen diet until all the extra weight is gone. Don't think of starting later, start right now, today still.

If loosing the extra takes you 14 days or longer please do your entire Re-feeding Program again.

You don't need to focus too hard on following your Cohen plan - you are already a diet expert at it and it will come quiet naturally once your hormones are balanced.

Instead I want you to focus on trying to find healthy ways to deal with stress and tension in your life. This will be something that only you can do because only you walk in your shoes. Write down specific steps or keys that you plan to do next time you feel too tense. You must have a way to plan your escape route. This can be anything that works for you. Going for a walk, focus on the good things that you do have to be thankful for, listening to music, try breathing deeply to calm you. A nice bubble bath to soothe the tension away.

I do believe that you should be able to eat just a little wrong ie: a treat once in a while after your starch meal - moderation of course. I also believe that if you did try this moderate approach that you will not feel deprived and then go and compensate by eating too much other legal foods.

It's just an approach that you may want to try after loosing the extra weight. You can do it! Don't let those pounds stick!!! Shake em off right away!!! {cheerleader} and :bighug:

[Bronwyn]

Hello dear Gail!

My goodness what trying times for you and your family. I'm so very glad to hear that your daughter is okay. She must have a strong guardian angel for getting through that barely bruised up. The way you describe what "could have happened" just reafirms to me that things do happen for a reason and maybe this was a lesson she needed to learn so that she wouldn't have a worse accident later. I'll bet she won't take her eyes off the road ever again!!

You are such an amazing person and are such an inspiration to all of us. I'm clearly no moderator or consultant, but my opinion is that you don't need to join the diet again as you've now got 10 pounds to lose. I think you should do again, what you did when you had the 5 to lose, and start weighing your portions so you're sure you're not overindulging. You have us here on the forum to vent to and to ask for our support which we would LOVE to give back to you in spades. I know you can do this. Look at the willpower you still possess by not eating any of those delicious sweets you made! You've still got it in you Gail, so start measuring and weighing and start letting us support you and those 10 pounds will come right off. I know you can do it!!

All the best,
Bron

[GailStout]

Oh Shasha -- thank you! THANKS SO MUCH for answering so quickly, and SO completely. I can do this. THANKS!

[GailStout]

BROWNWYN -- THANK YOU! With all you guys working so hard I feel like I've let you all down. (The good news, however, is that I can still wear all the size 6 "fat pants")...but I'll get back down soon.

I even have a goal -- My son's graduation is May 10th, and both kids are off on a college Jazz Band tour right after that and my husband and I are on vacation BY OURSELVES during that week.

I'll be interested in how fast this comes off -- the water will come quickly, but the fat? I'll have to be very serious about this.

THANKS SO MUCH!

[bitten]

gail,

i am a brand newbie. but, you inspire and amaze me. i think you should put yourself first and get back on the cohen wagon. thank god your lauren is ok. know your triggers, see your stumbling blocks and use the tools you learned here.
i am such an emotional eater. i feed my pain. but it only makes more of it.
come back and show us all how you can DO THIS for you-
bitten

[Hugentobler]

I am so glad to hear your daughter is okay. I'm also glad to hear how quickly you were on top of your weight and ready to find solutions. I am sure that following Shasha's advise it will come off quickly. Enjoy your vacation with your honey.

[GailStout]

Hi all. Thanks VERY VERY MUCH for your help! I'm down half a pound this morning. Keep your fingers crossed! :-)

[Bronwyn]

Yay Gail! See - you can do this!! You'll be absolutely fine and you did the right thing by catching it right away, logging on to ask for support, and then taking charge of your body again. I'm not worried about you at all as you are amazing and this'll just be another little hurtle. My sister has noticed that she loses weight faster since having completed this diet. When/if she goes up (like she did over the holidays) it only takes a short time to get it off whereas before the diet it would take forever or not at all. That's great you have a goal - your vacation week! Keep us posted!

[GailStout]

Thanks Bronwyn -- I hope you're right. No weight loss today -- but we did have an earthquake (that's a little unusual for Michigan :-)! I have three weeks to get it all off. Working hard!

It looks like you and I are at exactly the same place -- about ten pounds to go!!!!

[Hugentobler]

Gail- We felt the quake this morning in Cincinnati also. Great way to wake up!

[cyberella]

hey, gail!!
u'll b fine!!!
isnt it soo very great that your kid is ok!!!!!!!!?!!!!! :innocent3:
as always u can do this with no problem whatsoever!!!! :weights:
u did it once (at least we dont know of any more times, but i bet u had those momenz more often in half a year since refeed)
and u always came off again, as u r a determined and strong person!!! :flirt:

this is just a learning process-
u have 2 xperiment with your body and learn 2 deal with iz ways..
and u'll get accustomed 2 it-
everything gez easy after iz been hard.. :dance:
as shasha said: u will learn 2 deal with emotional compensation...

[GailStout]

Thanks! I'm actually kind of really DONE with the "learning process" part of this -- I want to figure out what "normal life" will be; haven't yet done that....but I have hope! And instead of eating badly today I cleaned out my garage (not all that rewarding, but at least I didn't eat badly!)....This is the first full day of being completely ON THE PROGRAM. So tomorrow I get to experience flu-like symptoms. Oh goody. :thinking:

[GailStout]

And, Amy Lynn, wasn't that just WEIRD? (I know all the folks from California are going "...what's the big deal?") But, having the quake happen this morning was fairly funny. At about 5:40 am this morning I woke to the bed trembling gently and the rattle of every piece of art on the walls trying to shift position. The funny bit is that what actually woke me up was the sudden SILENCE of birdsong! They'd begun their usual "at first light" songs -- and fell completely silent during the quake.

When it was over (perhaps a minute?), I tried to decide WHY the earth had trembled...

Of COURSE! It had to have been because in the Ann Arbor, Michigan area right now (here for the normal list of top-name weekend appearances and performances) are his holiness the Dalai Lama, jazz musicians Chick Corea, Bobby McFerrin, & Jack DeJohnette, comedian Bob Saget, actor Richard Gere, singer Kathy Mattea, rock legend Joe Jackson, and someone who must have put SOMETHING over the edge: Larry The Cable Guy.

What reason might the earth have for protesting? One must consider how the Dalai Lama and Larry The Cable Guy could occupy the same space and time without shifting the fabric of the universe in some way.

:-) Glad everyone's okay (though it was weird to watch my bedroom door swing open and closed!)...

[sunaric]

Dear Gail,
You were the inspiration that got me off the shelf and on the program in the first place. It has been two weeks and I've lost an incredible 18 lbs! (with 100 lbs to go...)
What really works for me, is that there ARE no choices-so forget the handful of crackers, and gobs of vegetables, etc. Just weigh and portion, follow your old list. It gave you the life you wanted and made you very happy. I don't know what the refeeding program involves, but a couple of weeks of your old regime, followed to the letter and you will be good as gold again. Just don't wait, start now, before it becomes too big of a deal. By the way, I'm from Ann Arbor too, although I live in Ukiah, CA now. Good luck! I'm rooting for you. Sunny

[GailStout]

Sunny -- thanks very much! I'm glad that my story was able to help you make your decision to LIVE your life! You are doing AMAZINGLY well, and you're completely right: START NOW -- and weigh, portion, and follow the plan!

I'm down another pound this morning.

It's really simple -- follow the rules and lose weight! (And when you've LOST the weight, I'm living proof that if you DON'T follow the 'life after the diet' rules, it comes back) -- so FOLLOW THE RULES!

Can you tell that order is important to me :-)?

I'm glad to talk to another Ann Arborite! You'd have enjoyed our gentle little quake yesterday!

[bitten]

hi gail-

i am so glad that you are losing again and back OP.
you are such a inspiration and 'poster girl' to all of us.

i think that losing is the east part, maintaining and living as a slim, healthy person is the struggle. i know i have lost and regained 75 lbs. i lost the weight so quickly i almost didn't know what to do with myself....i did not manage myself properly at all.
i have such a flawed relationship with food.
i am praying that cohens is my answer. i am intending to make this work, no matter what.

best to you-
bitten

[GailStout]

Hi there! Well done on coming down 10 pounds in a WEEK!!! WOWIEE!!!

Thanks -- and I've also learned the hard way that "managing myself properly" is EVERYTHING.

I'll get back on track, and I know you'll do VERY well. The trick is actually coming to terms with the fact that we CAN'T eat everything we want whenever we want it! Dr. Cohen DOES leave us with some hope, though: you CAN eat anything you want at a certain meal of the day! It is workable!

[GailStout]

So, as of this morning I'm down 3.4 pounds. :-) Gotta love 1PD! No matter what, if you do it as prescribed it WORKS!

[Hugentobler]

Yes!!!! You have to be proud of the job you are doing. I talked to the parent of one of my students (the lady who introduced me to Dr. Cohen) and asked how she was doing with her life after 1PD. She said she was up 10 lbs...but was not doing anything about it!!! Gail- Be proud that you have chosen a healthy life style and that you deal with your added weight right away. Keep it up.

[GailStout]

Thanks VERY much AmyLynn! Today wasn't the best "weigh in" -- I lost 0.2 pounds yesterday :-). But I know why -- too much salt and too many diet drinks. When I was ON the diet, I couldn't drink ANY diet pop without stalling...that's apparently still true. I'd guess that it makes me retain water in some way.

Thanks for helping! :-)

[Bronwyn]

Hi Gail,

You're doing so good. Like Amylynn said, we're all so proud of you for taking control and maintaining your healthy new lifestyle.

Yes - those diet drinks can be annoying. So good, yet so bad for us.

Hang in there - You're doing great!!!

[Shasha]

{hi} there Gail

I’m proud of you for staying on track!!! :applause:

There’s NO TIME TO WASTE, so please KEEP GOING with your WINNING or shall I saÿ:
your number 1 LOOSING FORMULA!!! {cheerleader}

[GailStout]

THANKS VERY MUCH Shasha. Though it's still a little bit frustrating to be "on the diet" again...the fact that it works, that I know why it works, and that it'll only take a little bit of time to get back to my goal range is amazing. How many times have we all said "I wish I could lose that last five (or ten) (or fifteen) pounds"? With 1PD -- you KNOW you will.

[Shasha]

[img] ...it's still a little bit frustrating to be "on the diet" again...

{hi} there Gail

So, what is the key then?

I believe you can let yourself have a day – say over the weekend and just relax… eat what you like (try of course to still follow the rules of starch and desert etc) but if you feel like a chocolate, have a small one or a piece of cake (remembering that you are little now and you need only little portions) and then Monday morning, get on the scale and, if you are up no question about it: DO THE 48 HOUR NO STARCH IMMEDIATELY.

If you do this it means you don’t have to go back on diet! The no starch will bring down your insulin levels again to a safety zone.

See the picture in horse riding – sometimes it’s nice just to give chase for a little while, but then, you need to GRAB THE HORSE BY THE REIGNS! It's the same with your hormones.

Don’t let one bad day become two and three and four and more… that is already WAY TOO MUCH hormone upsetting and then you are into FAT ******* mode :gurney: again.

So, once you’re back at goal… remember: THOSE WHO INDULGE BULDGE – Dr Cohen says all things in moderation and then see what happens on the scale and take the necessary action or no action, depending on what your scale says.

[GailStout]

I think we've just discovered a major flaw in my understanding of the diet: Does "NO STARCH FOR 48 HOURS" ALSO mean "no 6 crackers & no fruit"?????

My 1PD guide to refeeding doesn't actually address the "6 crackers + fruit" snacks -- and I just assumed that the crackers & fruit continued to be okay (though the fruit was reduced to 1x per day)....

SO, does 48 hours with NO STARCH mean one eats ONLY MEATS & "diet" veggies? What does 48 hours with NO STARCH actually mean?

HELP! Gail

[Shasha]

{hi} there Gail

During the 48 hour NO STARCH you may eat your diet allowance of crackers (no more than 2 at a time) and your diet fruit as per your diet allowance.

No starch means no bread, rice, potato, popcorn, pumpkin, peas, (none of the veggies on page 11 of your Re-feeding Guide). No sugar of any sort so no cakes, cookies, sweets, chocolate etc. No nuts. No alcohol.

Basically during the 48 NO STARCH hours Dr Cohen is allowing your insulin levels to drop down to normal again because during the 'event' that caused you to gain weight, you would have produced too much insulin.

[GailStout]

Thanks VERY much for the clarification -- I thought it meant no veggies, no crackers, no fruits -- nothing but meat.

[Shasha]

{hi} there Gail

{noway} you could never only eat meat - because that wouldn't be balanced.

During 48 hour no starch you may eat all your diet veggies and all the new veggies from Re-feeding, just not the starch kinds like pumpkin, peas etc.

You can have your diet allowance of crackers - no more than 2 portions at a time. You can have your diet fruit but try to avoid bad fruit because during the 48 hour no starch you need to stabilize insulin and bad fruit trigger more insulin than good fruit.

How is the weight loss going? :party8: Almost there yet?