OopsieDaisy's Progress

[OopsieDaisy]

Every now and then something happens to me. This something is rather inexplicable, somewhat off center if you will. I call this a "brain ****". While I have been visiting this site for a couple of weeks now, I guess I never really scrolled down past recipes; and my posts are mostly found in the support section. Who would have known that there was a whole folder focused on progress? I know, the rest of you who have been posting here :drool:

I started my program on January 8th; while I was extremely nervous, I knew it was something I had to try. I actually heard about this program at work, when I ran into a co-worker who I had not seen in months and she looked amazing! Seeing is believing. And I became a little obsessed with getting some more information. After googling and looking into it, I decided that it was time that I took my own health more seriously. I have always been "pleasantly plump" at least as far back as I can remember. If I were being honest with myself I would say that I L-O-V-E junk food.

Within the last two years I had briefly flirted with Weight Watchers; I was able to get enough information to figure out how to calculate points and enough to figure out how many points I was allowed to eat. My biggest problem is that I was still in the dark as to what was good for me to eat and most importantly how much. While trying out WW I mostly bought frozen foods and had a very difficult time figuring the rest out. In one way it was far to easy for me to say, oh I forgot my frozen meal today; lets go out for lunch.

The amount of information you get from the program was a big draw for me. While I felt a little nervous and overwhelmed at first I am getting used to making my own food. This may sound weird, but I feel strangely empowered. I make my all of my meals and I know exactly what goes into each and every bite. And while I may not be Julia Childs, I have been making some pretty good meals. The end of this week will mark my first 6 weeks on the program and I have lost 24 pounds so far. I am about 1/3 of the way towards my goal and I am 13 pounds away from being half way to my goal.

Recently I got some advice to drink more water during my plateau periods so needless to say I find myself running towards the bathroom the way I did when I first started the program. I think right now I am pretty amazed that I have not gotten sick and tired of drinking water; of course that is a good thing. I also recently discovered the recipes section of the forum and am stalking the Chicken blog. I am dying to get some more recipes! And if you happen to have a good sauce recipe please pass it on to me. The Honey Mustard sauce recipe is amazing and I have put it on everything this week!

Wow! 6 weeks. It's still a little hard for me to believe that I have been doing this for that long already. At first I felt like time was dragging just a little bit, but today it feels like I googled this program yesterday. More and more people are starting to notice my change. I have been getting complements from family, friends and co-workers; and while I am doing this program for myself I would be lying if I said that I did not like the positive attention. I can't wait to meet the new me!

[apachejenn]

Hi! I had a similar iffy attitude with Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. My parents are on it, and when they don't eat the food, they have no clue how to eat. They're stubborn so I think only when they start gaining stuff back will they give merit to the Cohen thing.

Congrats on 6 weeks! I'm closing in on the 5th for me. Keep it up!

[Key]

If I were being honest with myself I would say that I L-O-V-E junk food.

Daisy, while reading your post this sentence struck me and thought I would comment from my own perspective. I am not a junk food lover. Even before starting the diet I probably had the least interesting cupboard of anyone you would know - no chips, no soda, no candy... nothing like that ever. I am a - for lack of a better term - purist. I have never been one for fast food, convenience food, or processed food and I'm still holding fast to this. I try to eat food that's as close to its natural state as possible (not necesarily raw). When given the option, I buy organic. That said, I was 100 pounds overweight. I fell prey to the concept that eating healthfully was healthful eating. I was very heathy while at the same time being very fat. I was overeating. I was eating late at night. I was addicted to carbohydrates. One thing that's so beautiful about this program is what you learn from refeeding. Who knew that a bowl of simple lentil soup would skyrocket my insulin levels? I thought it was "healthy" and ate it all the time. Lentils and legumes really are healthy but not in the manner I used to eat them. Whole grains and nuts are healthy - but not if I eat them all the time. Another lesson you won't get from Weight Watchers.

Yay - the water worked for you!!! When you go to the bathroom alot you're losing weight - it's when you find you aren't that you're retaining fluids and need to amp up the water. Congratulations - you're doing so well... keep it up!

I never got into any sauces so I can't help you there but I suggest you try the chicken soup recipe - I still eat it at least once a day. My way is to poach chicken with a bay leaf in the salted water and when it's cooked I take the chicken and leaf out of the water and add vegetables (my favorite to add is cauliflower and mushrooms). Put the lid back on and when they are tender take them out with a slotted spoon and put them into a food processor/blender... when pureed add them back to the broth, chop the chicken, stir it all up while reheating a bit - it's AWESOME. The cauliflower makes the soup velvety and the mushrooms give a richness. Sometimes I add cumin and a pinch of cinnamon. Sometimes I add thyme. The variations for deliciousness are unlimited! I never thought I would like it - it was a suggestion from a consultant when I was complaining about hunger as I was reaching goal - it's quite filling. I can't believe I went through 95 pounds without this soup! I love it.

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the soup recipe Key, I will definitely have to try that out this weekend. I have a giant bag of cauliflower that I have been trying to eat my way through; I was starting to get a little disappointed that I would not be able to finish it.

I can't explain why, but I have been on a salad kick all week; and as of today I am all out of salad. Oo woe is me! Today was an interesting day at work, I was able to keep up with my water intake and tried out a new recipe for lunch. It was alright, I might just add more ginger; what can I say it adds great flavor. Sometimes I wish I were a little more creative in the kitchen and then I could figure out some new exciting recipes that others can use, but unfortunately I am no culinary artist and my skills are far too limited.

Onto happier news, I have yet to give in and weigh myself again. I promised myself that I would keep away from the scale and stop obsessing about those numbers that were driving me soo crazy. Of course the strength of my resolve may have something to do with the fact that I put the scales on the top shelf in my closet and cannot reach them without my little step ladder; which I have temporarily relocated to the garage. But I am determined, no more weighing myself until I complete eight weeks.

Now onto stranger happenings. While I have been drinking the recommended 2 liters of water a day, recently I have increased my water intake to 3 - 4 liters; which of course means that I have been visiting the ladies room a lot more often. My dilemma is as follows: washing ones hands after going to the ladies room is must, there really is no way around that fact; but I have noticed that my hands are getting so very dry. I wouldn't mind investing in some hand lotion, but I am just sure what to look for in a lotion. I don't want my hands to be too greasy, but I also don't want to sand my pencil down as I take notes in class. Any ideas? Suggestions?

[apachejenn]

Cetaphil moisturizing lotion is a good, non greasy basic lotion. I even use it as a moisturizer for my face.

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the info Jenn! I have already made a note for myself to stop by the store after work :)

Yesterday was insane, I still can't believe that I drank over 4 Liters of water yesterday. This morning I felt pretty good too; though I should confess that I was a little worried that I might have to get up multiple times during the night. I got to hang out with a friend yesterday and you would have been soo proud of me. She was having a monster craving for Krispy Kreme, so we went through the Drive Thru (1 dozen donuts for two people = excessive I think); I kept my head on straight and even though I was offered a donut, I refused :) But it did smell soo good. Instead I came home and prepared my dinner and ate the other half of my mango. Yum!

I think I stayed up too late last night, so I felt like I was dragging this morning. Got to work 5 minutes late and there was drama waiting for me already. Nothing heinous, just the usual he said-she said-she said-she said. To be honest, the upside to this morning has been my breakfast; for the first time I added cinnamon to my yogurt and it was delicious. I can't believe that I had not tried that before; and tonight I am going to make the soup the Key recommended. I guess today is just the day for me to try new things. Which in some twisted way leads me to the following. In one way or another I think that I have always used my weight as an excuse for not taking chances. While I do spend a good deal of my time busy with work or school; I often found myself avoiding social situations. Don't get me wrong, I am not a hermit by any means; and I do have friends .. but meeting new people has been so difficult. I can't help but think "Who would want to hang out with me?" or "Why?" Somtimes I feel like I get in my own way. And while I am working on my physical aspect, I also need to work on the internal issues. And we all know that's a nasty cycle to break. I think Mike Meyers said it best in Austen Powers (paraphrasing a bit) "I'm unhappy because I am fat and I am fat because I am unhappy." I want this new me to be completely healthy and I think I am coming along, but I should by no means expect this to happen over night.

[OopsieDaisy]

Every day on the program I feel more and more at ease. While I have yet to memorize every single item on the allowed fruits/vegetable lists I find myself going to the grocery store without my reminder notebook. I am still loving those homemade chicken nuggets and still on that salad kick. Today I even outdid my water intake from yesterday 4.5 liters! Another thing that I am getting used to is drinking more and more water. It doesn't even feel like I am drinking that much; though the number of trips to the bathroom would belie by statement.

Today was pretty uneventful, though I did manage to get a couple of things done around the house. It was so cold outside; and by that I mean Southern California cold. I am sure it's no where near 0 below, but this is Southern California; anything below 70 is just unacceptable. When I finally ventured out to the store it was 48 degrees! I felt like I was trapped in an ice cube. Ridiculous I know, but I can't help it. You always hear about the lack of seasons in California and I would have to agree; this whole climate debacle is really getting on my nerves now. I want California's seasonal weather to go back to: Cool, Warm, Hot and Hotter.

For the first time today I had cheese as one of my meals; it felt a little strange but I made it work. I know that the meat/chicken options are probably more filling, but I wasn't really that hungry. Is that normal? At some point am I supposed to start feeling less hungry? I feel like I am eating because I am supposed to, though there are certain dishes I occasionally look forward to. I have even stopped eating all of my fruit allowance. I am however, still munching away at those crackers.

I'll have to check my calendar later to confirm, but I think I am currently into my 7th week. I will be weighing in again soon; and I am getting nervous all over again. Since I put my scales away I have been somewhat successfully keeping myself from obsessing. I lost 20 pounds in my first 4 weeks, and I am only pretty sure I won't lose as much this time; but I can't help but feel that I might be disappointed in my progress. I need a reality check! No matter how much or little I lose, I should be glad to lose period. I can't let myself get hung up on numbers. The truth is that I am in this for the long haul, and I can't let myself lose sight of that.

[mommabear]

I too got to the point where I was just eating because I had to and hunger wasn't really an issue. Now, I am getting close to my goal and find myself getting a bit more hungry.

I haven't eaten all of my fruit for the vast majority of the diet. I just haven't needed to. I usually only eat 2 servings of my crackers as well. Within the last month I have been more hungry and have occasionally eaten all of my fruit.

Keep up the great work! You are doing great!

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the vote of confidence Mommabear. The logical side of my brain knows that I am doing a good thing, but that other irrational side just keeps making me doubt myself.

Today was a good day. I continued my water saga with another 4.5 Liters and thanks to ApacheeJenn got some great lotion for my currently-not-as-dry hands (which will soon be known as completely-moisturized hands). I tried out the orange chicken recipe with a little extra ginger today; perhaps I tried a little too much ginger, but it was still good :) I actually went through a couple of my old cookbooks, in hopes of coming up with something new to make. No such luck. Most of those recipes called for ingredients that I am not allowed, so I am back to the drawing board.

I was talking to an old friend earlier today, and I was telling her about the program; I think she thought I was nuts when I said that I was not drinking alcohol and would not be drinking for a while. I think I touched a nerve when I mentioned that part of my reason for doing this was to avoid diabetes as long as I possibly can. Both her dad and mom have diabetes; and I am sure it does not help that she has picked up several of her mom's unhealthy eating habits. Especially since her mom cooks for her. When my grandmother passed due to complications from her diabetes I felt so lost; while she had several ailments, she was very conscious of everything she ate. It was not until she could no longer do for herself that she began to quickly deteriorate. I know several people at work who have to deal with the blood sugar tests, and the insulin injections and I really don't want to be in that position. My friend's dad is really bad off. His diabetes is so advanced that he is legally blind, and due to the high level of care he needs he can no longer live at home with the rest of his family. She also mentioned that her mom has regularly gone into near diabetic comas because she cannot stop herself from eating sweets or overindulging. And I am sure that it does not help that her youngest brother is going down the same path.

Breaking cycles/routines can be very difficult; but when it comes to your health it has to be worth it. I am meeting up with my friend a month from now, and I am hoping that I can convince her to take on this challenge. I know that she also does not want to deal with Diabetes and all the other health risks that can be attributed to being overweight; during our phone call she said that she has not reached the point where she feels the need to do something about it. I completely understand what she meant, I mean honestly look how long it took me to make the decision to do something about it myself. She and I have been friends for more than half our lives and I want her to be there for many more (that will be the crux of my pitch).

I can't wait to see how far along on my journey I will be in a month. And I have still been able to successfully avoid the scale. Eek, next Thursday will be my 8 week weigh in. I think .. I should really find my calendar and clear that up.

[Key]

Now, I am getting close to my goal and find myself getting a bit more hungry.

Note to mommabear: I experienced the same thing when I was getting close to goal. Mention it to your consultant - you might be closer than you think.

Daisy - you're doing great. 8 weeks has flown by, hasn't it!?! Your body loses weight at it's own rate... sometimes you'll be disappointed and sometimes you'll be surprised and delighted. But, when you follow the program you always lose... it's definitely the best diet ever. You are not destined for diabetes. Lose the weight and change your habits now.

[OopsieDaisy]

Key - Yes it feels like I only started yesterday. It really blows my mind how when I first started I felt that the days were dragging on forever and now I look at the days left in the program and I can't believe that I have already gone through half of it. Eeek. The funny part is that I made this Daisy chain to keep track of how many days I had left; to be honest everyday I came into work I got a little excited that I got to tear a link off. Now I go to work and think, can't I just add a link today instead. For the last two weeks or so I have not been tearing the links out. I guess it makes for an interesting piece of decor in my office. I totally plan on kicking diabetes in the butt! I think that's what really keeps me going.

I was a little disappointed today. Like every other day, I woke up late and was literally running out of my condo this morning. When I got to work I realized that I had been more careless than I should have been while I was putting my food into my lunch bag. I forgot my Honey Mustard dressing/dipping sauce! Since I recently went grocery shopping I was more than looking forward to my salad for lunch; and I forgot the dressing. I made it work though, I used my orange chicken and mixed it into my salad and it was still pretty good. I kept very busy at work today, I kept to my desk most of the day; and kept reaching for my bottle of water. Before I knew it, it was 11 am and I had already drank over 2 Liters. By the time I went to lunch I had more than exceeded the minimum daily requirement. And the day wasn't even half over by then. I know this is weird, but I am so excited that I have been able to keep up my water consumption. I worried that I would get tired of it and that would make me move onto something else (something not allowed *dun dun dun*).

I think my resolve not to weigh myself is starting to crumble a bit. In fact, I would try to stay away from my closet but my clothes is in there and it would be gross to show up to work in the same outfit everyday. HaHaHa, at least the dresser with my undies is not in the closet ;). Some of the ladies at work were asking me about the small amounts of food that I eat (well I should clarify that small compared to what they are eating). I of course say that what I am eating are appropriate portions of food; which of course leads to the assertion that there is no way I could be satisfied after such a small meal. The thing is, I am. One of the younger ladies says that she just couldn't make that kind of sacrifice, but she is constantly complaining about her weight and how she needs to go to the gym. This may just be me, but has anyone noticed the following. Since I started on the program I feel like everything someone mentions losing weight I am automatically interested in the conversation; and I get really annoyed when people start making excuses. No really really really really annoyed. The young lady I just mentioned is working on my last nerve. Everyday she comes in and complains about her large thighs and growing belly but everyday at lunch she says, that "Today will be my last bad day" and tells us that "Tomorrow I will eat much better". Lies, I just want to say that out loud. "You are a lying liar who lies!" I feel better now that I got that out.

Maybe I am just displacing. I hear people make excuses and I think to myself, "Really who do you really think you are fooling?" Maybe the person I am really mad at is myself because I used to be one of the ones making the excuses and telling myself, "Oh, I will be better tomorrow". Of course tomorrow didn't really come and maybe I am just annoyed that it took me that long to figure out that "Tomorrow" is another excuse to avoid taking better care of myself. But I am done with "Tomorrow", because "Today" is the day that I have and will continue to take better care of myself. "Today" I was good and stuck to my program. "Today" I saw a cinnamon bun and thought, it's so not worth the set back. "Today" I drank so much water that I thought I was going to leave an imprint of my tush on the toilet seat. And finally "Today" I decided that looking to the future is a good thing, but without taking care of myself today, I won't have much of a future at all.

[mamaduckling]

I love the things you say in your last paragraph. It is so true that we won't have much of a future if we don't become healthy today. I, too, have noticed that there are a lot of people interested in doing this diet because they see the success on Mommabear and me, but actually committing to it is always full of excuses. I, too, hate the lies, because you're hurting no one but yourself when you lie. Lies don't lose weight, recognizing the truth does!

The other thing I've noticed is how many really large people are out there. I never noticed before, because I was one of them and wanted to blend in with the "large" crowd. Now, I just want to stop people and tell them that they, too, can lose the weight. If I can, anyone can! I feel like handing out cards with the info, but, I don't do it, because I know how some people don't recognize their issues. But, we really don't have to be so unhealthy. I just wish more doctors would recommend this program. It really has changed so many negatives in my life into positives!

[apachejenn]

A lot of people do that to me. I have a coworker who has watched me come from 255+ and every time I make a jump in losing weight, she gives me the same spiel. I am too busy, it's too much of a sacrifice, I don't have time, I'll think about it, etc. But then she complains about the 30 or so pounds she thinks she needs to lose, and constantly brings up my diet. If she doesn't want to talk about it, she shouldn't bring it up. I honestly don't like talking about it and say, "It's a doctor prescribed diet." It usually gets people to not talk about it because doctors are Serious Business (tm).

What irks me more, however, is people seeing I lose weight, make a comment or something, obviously acknowledging it, and then offering me other food. They try to argue with me when I say I can't eat it or try to get me to eat it more. What's one cookie, Jenn? Just have one omg! And then I get angry and they say stuff like the diet is making me cranky. No, THEY are making me cranky! No means no!

I really hope you do kick diabetes. :D I place more importance on health as a goal, and consider weight loss to be a side effect.

EDIT: I also want to advise against going up to people and telling them how to lose weight. I've had people do this to me while I am clothes shopping and it just brings my confidence down, despite that I consider myself a confident person. It has the opposite effect of what you want, and makes a person really want to hide out at home and narf some cookies. Who likes someone coming up to them and pointing out flaws? No one. It's rather rude, I hate to say.

[mommabear]

I too am annoyed with the people that have a LARGE amount of weight to lose and keep making excuses. Either you want to be thin or you don't. End of story! Then people tell me, "oh, you must have really strong willpower." Yeah, that is why I weighed 200+ pounds because I had strong willpower! Good God! People that see me on a regular basis that need to lose weight and say they cannot because the diet is too strict. Well, it is strict, it is tough, BUT it is what us FAT people need! We need to learn how to eat correctly-how to control our portion sizes-how not to let our emotions eat for us-etc.... FAT people need tough love...and thank God I found it.

Sorry I went off there a bit...but man o' man have I been irritated!

[mamaduckling]

Jenn - When I said that I "wanted to hand out cards with info on it" I also said that I never would. I have been the victim too many times of the "you'd be so pretty if you just lost weight" comments. It made me eat. I just feel like the whole world should know this diet exists because it DOES work. I am not a rude person and would never hurt anyone's feelings because I have been on the other end of that too often, but I was bothered by your EDIT comment and feel that it was directed at me. I won't take it personally.

[OopsieDaisy]

I think I am really starting to get addicted to this forum. While I enjoy the benefits of a desk job, I do not watch "Hulu" at work (HaHaHa! The Cleveland Show is a little strange, but funny). Though as my day progresses I think of posting and reading about everyone's progress.

I spent most of my day working on an Interest Calculator on Excel. Long story short, you plug in some dates and it figures out how many calendar day have elapsed and gives you yearly, daily rates and total interest during a given period of time. Boring stuff, I know; but I think it will help make certain aspects of my job, and my co-workers easier. I drank another 4 Liters of water today, and for some reason it took me all of 6 hours to eat 1 piece of fruit. Strange I know, but I guess I kept getting distracted.

After work I went to the grocery store and got some yogurt, to be honest every since I started putting a little cinnamon in it I have been looking forward to that meal. I even prepared some for tomorrow. Since I will be out all day, I like to be prepared. Breakfast, lunch and dinner have been packed away. I tried on outfit for tomorrow and I couldn't help but smile a little when I noticed that I could probably go down another notch on the belt.

Yesterday's post really got me thinking about my mom. A couple of weeks ago I got really annoyed with her. I realize that I might be over analyzing, but it still bothered me. My mom is beautiful; though for as far back as I can remember she has carried around her own personal image issues. I love my mom. She can be a handful though. I was standing my her bed and she tells me that she can't understand why her "little fatso" wants to lose weight. Which of course only got "better" when she grabbed my stomach. I stayed calm, at first; and simply replied because I want to be healthy and happy with myself. She let it go, but only for a little while, before she started making fun of again. "Oh my little fatso, don't you see that I like you fat?" Now a little more irritated than the last time, I curtly responded that I did not. After about 5 more minutes of this I was no longer able to keep my cool. I told her that I did not want to talk to her anymore; she tried to joke around some more and I stopped talking to her and wouldn't even look at her. She finally stopped and left the room. We haven't really talked since then; and I don't even know what I would say to her. I know that I have and will probably do some out-of-the-ordinary things; but is it really that hard to give me a little support? Maybe a little encouragement? Again, I love my mom; but sometimes I can't help but think that she thinks of me as a joke, and it's a pretty horrible feeling. She has told me in the past that I am overly sensitive, so I usually end up keeping stuff like this to myself; but here you all are, a somewhat captive audience. I know that I will get over/move on but I am still a bit disappointed in the both of us.

Tomorrow is another day; another three meals and the possibility of fruit and crackers. More water and the corresponding trips to the Ladies' Room. While I know that I am a long way from reaching my goal; I am a little scared that once/when I finish re-feed the floodgates will open and I will be where I was before I started. Will I still find strength in my resolve to be healthy? Will I be able to say no to the bad stuff? Will I make the right choices? Self-doubt is a horrible creature, unfortunately it has taken residence in my head and no amount of logic has been able to keep it completely at bay. As the days go on, I think that it becomes a little harder to stay 100% committed. But I am still hanging in there. After all, if this were easy it would hardly be worth the trouble. I have to keep telling myself that. My greatest accomplishments have always been those which I had to pour my blood, sweat and tears into. So why shouldn't I expect to shed a little of that here to.

I once read that "[the] difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will"; so I have to believe that even though I may not be the strongest/smartest person I can do this. Whenever I feel myself losing my resolve I have to remember that it's not supposed to be easy. Things that come easily are quickly forgotten and it's the difficult trials that have allowed me to grow into the person I am today. The difficult days that will continue to shape my person and character are the things that I should look forward to. I may not always understand but I have to believe that there is something better out there for me; and this is worth it. I have to be my own cheerleader and look towards the future that I am building for myself.

[apachejenn]

Mamaduckling, it's not directed at you, it's directed at anyone who has ever wanted to do something like that. I understand that a lot of people have good intentions when they say stuff like that, but don't understand how it looks coming from another point of view. I understand that you know, but there are a lot of people out there who don't. I'm sorry if you feel like it was directed solely at you, but it was a general thing. :)

Hey Daisy, I think the best way to go about this is to talk to your mom when you're both not still upset at the conversation, because I'm sure she knows she did something wrong and doesn't know how to handle it, and the best way to cover her embarrassment is to direct it back to you. Let her know that this is no longer acceptable. Tell her calmly that you would prefer if your weight were not handled with any negative connotation, even in a joke, because not only are you going through physical changes but psychological changes as well, and it's very serious for you. She needs to respect your choices, and if she doesn't agree with them, she needs to keep her disagreements to herself because it's not going to change your decision. I don't think it has to do with you being sensitive at all. Some people say the things they do because they have problems with themselves, and they feel that by making these jokes and comments they are bringing you down to create a springboard to lift themselves up. It's a weird way to get an ego, but you just need to let her know (calmly) that this isn't working anymore (don't bring up the ego part, lol) just that you'd appreciate her more if comments about your weight or appearance were kept at a positive or you didn't get them at all. It also helps to reflect the positive change you feel back at people, so compliment your mom on something and make it a habit, to show her that you don't have hard feelings about it and that your attitude has changed regarding how you react to people. They'll stop coming up with things to say when they get that it wont work anymore, and their attitude will change when they see that your energy has changed toward a positive.

[OopsieDaisy]

Jenn - Thanks for the advice; I think I am almost ready to have that talk with her. I think right now I am just nervous that she won't understand me, because this has not been a problem for her.

OMG!! Someone called me "skinny" two days in a row. My response was that of incredible disbelief. Of course this is not at all true. While I have not weighed myself in quite some time there is no way that I am even half way to my goal; it's just not possible, though these complements are making it more difficult to keep myself away from the scale. This has definitely peaked my curiosity. But I shall persevere, no weigh in until next week when I officially complete my 8th week on the program.

Wow! 8 weeks, I can't believe how quickly time has flown by. I think next week may be a little difficult for me because my birthday is on Tuesday. A few people have already asked, or rather demanded to bring me a cake for my birthday. I think I was finally eventually to convince them to bring a fruit platter and salad items. I will probably try to piece 1 fruit serving out of what they bring, since fruit platters usually have melon I could weigh that out to the appropriate amount and since it will be a create your own salad bar I could also weigh it then. And I could bring my own chicken (protein) and the salad dressing that I make at home; of course all program approved items :). But I am a little afraid that I may get caught up in the celebration and eat something I shouldn't. Like a piece of cake. But I will give it my best not to, after all .. it is a weigh in week and I have worked so hard to get to where ever it is I am now, I just don't want to take steps backwards.

These last couple of days have been exhausting; mentally and emotionally. My best friend's great grandmother passed away and we attended her rosary yesterday and the funeral service was today. I remember the first time I met her was at my friend's "Going Away to College" Party; since I had always heard her being referred to as Gigi, that is exactly what I called her. She smiled at me and said I was very sweet; my friend's sister quickly told me that her name was Rosemary and that GG = great grandmother. She was so kind, I think she knew that I had felt embarrassed that she said I should call her GG because she liked that name best. She always remembered me, and gave me all kinds of hugs whenever I saw her. GG was 92 years old and lived every day to the fullest; she battled cancer twice but the third time she opted to forgo treatment. She was a wonderful person and will be missed dearly by those who loved her.

[OopsieDaisy]

I don't know where my mind is today. I just hope that it finds its way back by the time I get to work tomorrow. Today has been an interesting day. I ate all of my fruits and crackers and drank my 4.5 Liters of water but I am still feeling like I can grab some more food. I don't think I am hungry, but maybe being around baked treats all day is getting to me. I don't think I have the strength to drink any more water. I have made far to many trips to the ladies room today and am ready to call it a night. I really hope that I am not starting to hit a wall. And the end of today I will have completed my 7th week. I am just over half way through my first 12 weeks on the program. Although I was hoping to lose as much weight during the second four weeks as I did during the first four weeks, I don't think that it's going to happen. I was so amazed when I realized that I had lost 20 pounds, I couldn't really believe that the program was actually working. I still can't because I look at myself in the mirror and I don't see the changes that other people have noticed. Self-doubt is an ugly thing and every now and then it shows up unannounced; I don't like it at all.

[Key]

Hey Skinny - happy early birthday! You need to realize that your friends are not bringing a cake to make you eat it, they are using your birthday as an excuse to eat cake. There is not one reason in the world why you need to say no to them bringing a cake - just say no to the cake.

My Aunt Wini taught me many wise things, one of them was "doubt that doubt". You're doing a fantastic job,you're losing weight and looking terrific. People are noticing your success. Doubt that doubt, girl.

[OopsieDaisy]

Key - Thank you for the complements, I can't wait to celebrate my half birthday this year. I decided that I will spend my half birthday in Las Vegas doing some damage. I don't mean those grand buffets, I mean shopping! Buying cute new clothes for me :), well the new me anyway. Of course I can only hope that I am done with my program by then so I can really build up my new wardrobe there. *sigh* Oh just to think of the Outlet Mall too.

Today was an okay day. I was so exhausted yesterday that I did not finish editing a project that I had to turn in today; of course I spent the better part of 2 hours editing at work only to realize that the professor had extended the deadline to the project. I was a little annoyed, but at the same time very relieved because I think I could take advantage of this extra time and do something a lot better. So I spent the latter half of my work day getting caught up on everything that accumulated during my 1 day 2 hour vacation; in order to prepare for another day away from the office. You can imagine my joy to come back on to work on Tuesday to a desk full of work. I wonder if this is what postal employees feel like.

I am still maintaining my high water intake; and very much so making multiple trips to the ladies room. Today I have been feeling very hungry again. I ate all of my crackers and all of my fruit too. While I have been reaching for that bottle of water constantly, I think I may have figured it out. Must be that TOM. Prior to going on the program my TOM would trigger an insane craving for food, of course all the bad stuff i.e. fried and/or sweet. While I have officially started my 8th week I think I am just now noticing this because of the following: for the last couple of weeks I have noticed a reduced appetite, I eat because I have to eat not really because I am all that hungry. The last time it was my TOM I actually was hungry so I would make sure I ate all of my daily allowances. Perhaps last month I couldn't tell the difference because I was hungry already; whereas this month I wasn't really that hungry and I just want to stuff my face. I am also feeling way tired, which is yet another sign that the TOM is coming. Even though I am still very religiously taking my multi-vitamin when that TOM comes around my energy is depleted. I come home from work and fall hopelessly asleep; I slept for 18 hours once. Crazy I know. Especially since I don't really sleep that much during the rest of the month.

Since I have become thoroughly addicted to the forum I have read that the growth hormone really kicks in when we are sleeping; yikes! I don't really get that much sleep. I would say that on a good night, I am in bed at 11 p.m.; I get up for work around 6 which means that on a good night I get around 7 hours of sleep. But if I were to be completely honest, more often than not I end up falling asleep sometime after 1 which means that on the average I only get around 5 hours of sleep (during the week); I sleep in until 8 a.m. on the weekends. I am not even going to try to make excuses for myself, I am just plain and simple a night person. So I hope that my off beat sleep cycle won't mess my program up too badly. My body is used to the lack of sleep and to be honest I can't even imagine what would happen if I were to get the 8 recommended hours of sleep every night.

I have started a countdown in my head. My next weigh in is next Friday, exactly one week from today I will have completed my first 8 weeks on the program. I have not cheated and weighed myself, though I have been tempted on numerous occasions. I have not deviated from my program; even though I feel like I have been eating like a piggie lately (not bad stuff, just ALL of optional foods). The only consolation I have is that I have been able to increase my water intake to almost double and have been able to keep doing so for the last 7 days. I don't think I ever imagined that I could drink 4-5 Liters of water in 1 day. Some of my co-workers think I am nuts for drinking so much water; of course these are the folks that take 2-3 days to drink 1 16.9 oz bottle of water.

A few days ago I posted about a co-worker who is continually making plans to start her diet tomorrow; while I did not call her out in front of everyone (at least I don't think I did) I did take the opportunity to ask her a few questions. So she comes into the office and asks anyone would like to go to Molly's, an old style diner place where of course 80% of the menu is fried. Of course I scream "NO" way from my office. She should know better than to ask me anyway ;). Back to the story. So I add to my exclamation, albeit not as loud "I thought you were done with junk food? You remember this morning." She asserted that she would be picking the "healthy" option at lunch. Of course I asked what exactly would she consider a healthy option. Apparently a Tuna Sandwich is a healthy option. Ok, so all that mayonnaise and those french fries/onions rings healthy = no. So she came back with a salad. Which isn't necessarily a bad idea until I asked what kind of dressing she would get. Thousand Island or Bacon Ranch. Again, I shot her down. So her last defense was that she "deserved" the greasy/fatty lunch. Apparently she had worked out the night before. So I pointed out the fact that by eating the unhealthy lunch she pretty much would have worked out and tired herself out for no reason, as she would make up the calories she had burned and more with that one meal. "Deserved" more like "entitled" I tried to explain the difference between the two but I don't think she understood. Finally I look straight at her and say, if you are going to Molly's be honest with us and yourself; no you are not having a healthy meal. If you want to eat there then just say you want to eat there, but you aren't really fooling anyone by saying that you are going to eat something healthy there. She finally relents and says that she will pick the healthier choice off the menu, which is not all that healthy just healthier than everything else they serve there. I did not ask her what she ate for lunch when she came back; but for the first time in months she did not complain that she was so full and needed to lose weight after lunch. I have to admit that it felt good to hear her admit that a lunch choice that is not as bad as something else does not make it healthy.

It's really all about perspective. A quarter pounder with cheese, small fries and a small drink aren't healthy and comparing that to a double quarter pounder with cheese, large fried and a large drink doesn't mean that the first choice is healthy. You can't just look at two choices and determine one is healthy simply because the thing you are comparing it to is worse. I have had quite a few revelations on the program; and that is yet another little pearl I uncovered. Knowing what we all know about food and getting regular exercise, we all know what we should be eating. Yet we all ended up here. We knew that the second helping of pasta was not good for us, but we figured "hey I could be eating something worse" or even "this is healthier than desert". We are all logical beings and as such used that logic to justify our bad behavior. Ketchup must be good for you right, I mean its got tomatoes and everyone knows tomatoes are good for you. Or how my hamburger has lettuce, onion, tomato; really its more like a salad than a burger the buns are just the carbs that I would have eaten as crackers with my salad. I don't think that I will ever be able to know it all; or anyone for that matter. But we can try to know better and look at those unhealthy foods and know that just because there is an ounce of vegetable or good protein does not make it a healthy choice. We should strive to know better so that we can make those better and choices that are actually healthy. More often that not I used to think one more time won't hurt; but it does. Every time I made that wrong choice it did hurt me and tomorrow never really came until now.

[OopsieDaisy]

Another day, another 4.5 Liters of water. I still cannot believe that my lazy butt woke up before 8 a.m. on a Saturday! A Saturday. So sad. I finally cracked and I know that I am probably going to regret it later. I have finally gotten rid of the bunny ears on my television and got Direct TV. And I got the DVR too! I have not quite decided what I am going to watch or record, but the world is my oyster.

Today I tried two new recipes; zucchini pancakes and creamy mustard chicken. I've got to be honest I didn't really have high hopes for either, but I absolutely loved them. I have no idea how I ever got along without those zucchini pancakes. They were delicious, and I can't wait for some more of them tomorrow. I think today was the first day that I did not eat all of my fruit; though I did eat all of my crackers. The crackers were integral parts of both the lunch and dinner recipes today. I will be looking to those cheese/vegetable recipes soon, but first I have to go to the store and pick up a couple of things. Just in the nick of time as I have run out of mangos, cucumbers and am running low on eggs, zucchini and black pepper.

Another first, well in a couple of days; I did not find myself "dying" of hunger. Very dramatic, I know. I actually felt pretty full and satisfied for most of the day, even though I was surrounded by cupcakes today. I did get some frosting on my fingers and I resisted the temptation to lick it off my fingers. I out on a dress that I had worn months ago and it was really looser than I remembered. Mostly I noticed it in my arms and upper body. I also noticed that I went down a notch in the belt. 1 NOTCH! Yahoo! Who would ever believe that I had the makings of a waist :). I also kind of raided my mom's closet and I was able to get into her size 8 jeans. That part of my day was very exciting, though it was ridiculously cold and I could have kept those pants on. The pants could probably be a bit looser for me to be completely comfortable wearing them but me wearing a real pair of size 8 jeans! I had some from Old Navy in 8, but those sizes run big, so it was more like a size 10.

I know that I usually ramble on with some new insight or some boring story that really only makes me laugh; but it is freezing cold and time for me to get some rest. After all, I did get up before 8 a.m. today.

[apachejenn]

I love zucchini pancakes/hash browns. I eat them every morning. :D

Congrats on the belt size! I've gone down 3 belt holes since I started and am working on my 4th! It's pretty cool! Keep it up!

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks Jenn, the funny thing is that the dress is already loose on top; I felt it when I wore it and the arm holes were really loose and it felt a little ballooned in the back. This dress has the only belt I wear; I am just not a belt wearing girl. I really like the dress and had not really considered the fact that I may no longer be able to wear it as I get closer to my goal.

Nearly 5 Liters of water today; what an accomplishment. Since I woke up a little later than I had planned I thought that I would probably be lucky if I could get at least 3 Liters of water. Even though I kept myself relatively busy today, I still found myself a little hungrier than yesterday. I don't really understand what is going on with me today. Not only did I go out for groceries, prepared breakfast and lunch and a couple of dinners for the week; I also did enough laundry to make me reconsider waiting as long. On a happier note, I got rid of a couple of pants that no longer fit me at all.

A couple of weeks ago I said that I would stop obsessing about weighing myself and so far I have been able to keep off of the scale; but this morning I measured myself. So far the results are as follows: 2 inches off the top, 2 inches off of the middle, and 1 inch off of the bottom; a total of 5 inches off. I am most excited about the loss on top because that is where I carry most of my weight. I was looking at some size charts and I got a little confused; according to my measurements I am all over that chart. Oh well, someday all of my measurements will indicate the same size.

*Edit* Totally forgot to mention that I tried the Zucchini Lasagna; it was super delicious; I just need to adjust the amount of salt in the recipe. I think that my taste buds are changing and even though I used less than 1/8 teaspoon of salt it felt like too much.

[OopsieDaisy]

Water intake 4.5 Liters! Yahoo. I am still feeling hungry, but I kept to my program. Last night I adjusted the salt to the Zucchini Lasagna and it was delicious. Yummy. Who would have ever guessed that I would be able to make anything this delicious. I am still nervous about my next weigh in. Even though I stuck to the program, and I know that I will probably not lose as much as I lost the first month; I want to have made a significant step towards my goal. I know that I have lost inches, but knowing that is still not enough to reassure me.

So my birthday is tomorrow, and I have to confess that the thought of deviating kept nagging at me; I have decided that I will stick to the program on my birthday, even if that means that I don't get to eat cake or ice cream. My upcoming weigh in is too important for me to screw it up now. And lets me honest, I have been working far to hard to just throw it away now. So I am resolved to look temptation in the eye and say "No thank you!".

Oh another food related item; I was reading through the yogurt section a couple of nights ago and came across a posting for Fage - Greek Strained Yogurt. I just happened to see some at the store and I got a couple of containers. I'm not going to lie it was pricy, about $2 for a 6 oz. container; OMG it was totally worth it. So creamy and delicious; not at all bitter or sour. I didn't even add fruit! As a reformed breakfast hater; I am quickly becoming more enamored with my meal options for breakfast. Oh Fage Strained Greek Yogurt, where have you been all my life? And Zucchini Pancakes, how could I have lived so long without knowing you? I need psychological help, but until it arrives I am quite content.

[Key]

Happy birthday, Daisy! Don't let what you're NOT eating get you down. It's only cake! When you think of it like that, it seems kind of ridiculous, doesn't it? There will be plenty of time for cake - ice cream, too - when you've finished this.

PS - I agree with you on the Fage yogurt. It's delicious.

[mommabear]

You can do it Daisy! I went through Thanksgiving and Christmas without having any of the goodies! The best birthday present you could ever give yourself is to get healthy!!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

[OopsieDaisy]

Thank you for the birthday wishes Key and Mommabear! I really had a much better day than I expected. Not only did I not deviate (I almost ate 1 extra portion of crackers, until I remembered that I had eaten Zucchini Hash Browns and I promptly portioned my cracker to the correct amount); I also wore the skirt that I bought almost 18 months ago and it fit better now than it had fit when I first bought it! I got tons of complements, and I think that it really helped to keep me going through the day.

My co-workers were so amazing; they organized a Salad Bar Buffet and brought in tons of healthy stuff that I used to make a salad for myself (I brought my chicken with me along with a little dressing I whipped up) and they even brought fruit for dessert. Even though it was a not-so-popular healthy alternative to the usual fatty and greasy potlucks they are used to; they all really seemed to enjoy the nice green veggies on their plates. I even got a gift card to my favorite grocery store :) Now I can really get tons of Fage yogurt without feeling guilty over the price.

Today I drank over 5 Liters of water! Crazy I know, but the more I drink the more I want. The only downside is the number of trips to the Ladies Room; but it's a downside I am willing to live with. Ok, I should probably get some sleep now. Already after midnight, so my birthday is over; and I have to get up for work in some hours. No insights today, at least none I can think of right now.

[KMac]

Happy B'day- congratulations on taking good care of yourself yesterday- staying on program is the
best gift you could give yourself :)

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks KMac! I actually had that same discussion with my mom. She wanted to meet for dinner and was trying to guilt me into it, but I remained firm. I simply asked her whether it was more important that I be healthy or that I eat out with her. Needless to say she agreed that it was more important that I be healthy :).

I successfully drank over 4 Liters of water today! It feels like I spent a good portion of the day running about. Lots of drama at work; but I tried to stay away from it all and for the most part I succeeded. I could have brought attention to some details that got overlooked, but some people just have to learn the hard way. That probably sounds mean, but I tried to reason with this person and I was going no where fast. I just hope that it doesn't blow up in her face, especially because I don't want to be too tempted to say "I told you so!".

Note to self, people do not respond well to having their mistakes rubbed in their faces. But I might just do it anyway.

I know that I have been complaining about being hungrier lately, I am really not sure what is going on. At one point I thought it was due to my TOM, but that has not happened. Today wasn't too bad, to be honest more than anything I was thirsty today because I did not bring enough water to work with me. I had about 2 Liters with me, but I usually drink closer to 3 Liters at work. I also forgot my crackers at home, which did not turn out as bad as I thought it would.

I definitely ate ALL of my fruit allowance today. And they were all super delicious! Since I had my last Fage yogurt today, tomorrow's breakfast will include some lovely Zucchini Hash Browns (or Zucchini Pancakes as I have been calling them). Since I make all of my meals at the beginning of the week I won't be trying out the Crepe recipe I read about at least until Saturday. Which reminds me, since I will be out the whole day; I should probably prepare my breakfast/lunch/dinner Friday night.

In light of the recent food worthy celebrations at work, it was brought to my attention that my staff want to start a Birthday Potluck. Pretty much, celebrating birthdays with food. I gave them the ok, after all I am on the diet, not them. So tomorrow when I get home from work I will be making some chili for them. Friday's celebration will be a Create-Your-Own-Nacho Bar Potluck. While my chili does smell delicious, I will remain steadfast in my commitment to my program. I have not deviated so far, and see no reason why I would now. It's not like I will never be able to have chili again.

Of course I am still nervous about my weigh in but while I was reading through some posts when I came across one that really brought to my attention the fact that 8 weeks ago I could not make it very far up and down the stairwells at work without getting winded. I generally opted to use the one elevator that was constantly breaking down; but since I have been on the program I have made a deal with myself. Stairs are the primary mode of transportation; but I can take one roundtrip ride on the elevator per day. And no I cannot save one day's ride for another day. Today I marched up 3 flights of stairs and while I did my calfs getting a work out, I wear 3+ inch heals; I was fine, no wheezing or inability to catch my breath. That was amazing, its just odd how it took me so long to realize that I was doing that. Stranger so is the fact that when I am in my heals it's easier for me to go upstairs than to come back down. Though I think I am just afraid of falling on my butt, and I have many times before.

When I first started my program I felt like 12 weeks would never get here; and look at me know, its almost week 8 and it feels like week 4 was just yesterday. Know I feel like I want it to last longer; I can't explain it, it's almost as if I have found my niche the food is good, I have energy and I feel great. If you had told me that I would be feeling this way when I first started I would have called you crazy. To be honest I see the food that I used to eat before, and I can't imagine eating that anymore. Don't get me wrong, there are certain foods that I can't wait to get back. I LOVE beets! But the cheeseburgers and pizza just are not as appealing as they once were. I see people go out and buy their lunches and I think; mine is so much better. Maybe its part a feeling of accomplishment that I made my lunch and its good and the fact that I KNOW everything that when into it.

Knowledge is power! I used to hear that on those after school programs that taught us latch-key kids the value of friendship, truth and family. And the further I delve into the program the more comfortable I feel knowing that my food is healthy. And that through this decision I made I can know my own strength; to know my own resolve. I know that I am a strong, intelligent woman and if I had in anyway doubted myself before; that is over with. In fact WE are all strong, intelligent people! Not convinced, you will be. Just think of the strength it has taken to take a positive step towards becoming the new healthier versions of us; saying no to temptation and yes to our futures starting with today. Intelligent, well because we have accepted no substitute to gaining a healthy perspective on what we put into our bodies. Sure we could have gone on some deranged fad diet; but were are here for the long haul. We are here because we know that those fad diets don't work and we are here because we are smart enough to know that we need to educate ourselves and learn how to be healthy. We are ALL strong and intelligent people and all you have to do is remember that each and everyone of us can do this! Sure there are bad days, but there are also good ones that make the sacrifices worth while.

[OopsieDaisy]

Another day has just about ended, eek! This actually marks the end of my first 8 weeks on the program. Yikes! The amazing part is that I still looking forward for the rest of it. I will be weighing in tomorrow so I am combination of nervous excitement. I am still keeping up with my higher water intake, so another 4+ Liters of water for me today.

*sigh* Almost midnight. I should get some sleep, its going to be a long day tomorrow!

[OopsieDaisy]

Today was my second official weigh in. While I did lose, compared to my previous loss (first four weeks) I feel somewhat disappointed. During my first 4 weeks I lost 20 pounds, and this time I lost 10. 50% less! I knew that I would not lose as much as I did at first, but I didn't expect it to drop so low. I think that's the crazy irrational side of my brain taking over. Logically I did lose 10 pounds and I should be happy. And I am sure I will be, I just have to get over it. I think I have been going to school way too long, because all I can think is that 50% of something is an F.

Anyway .. even though I was bummed today I kept to my program and actually ate less today than I have been the last week or so (by that I mean that I did not eat all my fruits or crackers). I did drink nearly 5 Liters of water and a Coke Zero (well most of a small bottle). When I started the program I found Coke Zero in small plastic bottles, I like them because it is only about 12 oz per bottle; and I can keep it fizzy a lot longer than the ones in the can. Plus I tend to leave some behind anyway, so in my mind I don't feel as wasteful.

Tomorrow will be another day. I made my favorite Homemade Chicken Nuggets again :) Yum! Not only will I have food for tomorrow I also used the heat from the over to warm up the kitchen. Oh how I enjoy multi-tasking. Of course I waited until I turned the oven off to immerse myself in the warmth of the over. It's cold at home and I'm cold.

[mommabear]

You have lost 30 pounds in 2 months!!!! That is simply amazing. You are averaging 3.75 lbs. a week!!! That is more than you could lose on any other diet!!!! 10 pounds a month is a very healthy amount of weight to lose a month. The first month everyone loses more because of all of the water weight we are packing around and the sheer shock of the diet change. I think you are right on target and losing just what you should lose. It has been my goal to lose 10 lbs. per month.

Keep plugging along and pat yourself on the back for being very successful!

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the encouragement Mommabear! I think I am finally getting to the point where I am feeling good about my loss. In some way I think that this has turned into a competition of will for me between the "Old" Daisy, who didn't have a clue about healthy food or healthy portions and the "In Progress" Daisy who is bent on getting to her goal.

OMG! Today has been an amazing day, with one little blemish. It is after 8 p.m. and I am barely working on my 4th bottle of water, meaning that I will have consumed just under 3 Liters of water today. But I feel I should explain. For the first time ever *dun* *dun* *dun* I took snowboarding lessons and actually, though very poorly; snowboarded! I purposely consumed less water because I knew that bathroom access would be limited, plus I was wearing so many layers of clothes I could not imagine having to come back constantly change in and out of all my wonderful snow gear. I was actually pretty excited that I was able to buy Medium snow pants!

I feel so many times I lost count. But I got back up, though I must say the last time I fell on my butt. Wow! I fell so hard that the impact went straight from my butt to my lower stomach. Ouch! In fact, I think I am still a little sore. I already see some bruising on my knee. But it was all worth it. I had a great afternoon, and I even managed to drive in the snow. I did have two little hiccups, but I remembered: 1)Don't slam on your breaks 2)Turn the wheel in the direction of the drift. The second one kind of freaked me out, but my friend and I made it home safely.

Even though I completely tuckered myself out, I was not as hungry as I thought that I would be. While I ate all of my crackers and will probably eat all of my fruit too; I was not starving and ended up spacing out my meals by at least 6 -7 hours. I was probably just to pre-occupied to really care. Though I did eat all of my meals. D'oh I just forgot, I went to the grocery store and forgot to get some Fage yogurt. Well, there is always tomorrow right?

** Edit **
So my friend and I ended up watching the movie "The Wrestler" and I was so tired that in order to keep away I kept drinking water. Not that the movie was not good; but I started to ache all over and all I wanted to do was sleep. Ended drinking my 4+ Liters of water! YaY! Now it's time for bed .. and an over the counter pain killer (or two).

[OopsieDaisy]

After an eventful weekend and some direly needed time to rest, I am somewhat back. I am still sore from the adventures in snow boarding and have been feeling quite lazy all day. This is usually a symptom of my TOM, but I have been getting so many false alarms recently, that I am not really sure anymore.

So I have decided that I need to get mentally back on track. While I have been sticking to my program, I have been feeling down lately. And I am a little worried that this will sabotage the progress I have made so far. Maybe I should make some small goals for me to stick to. Like breaking into the 140s. Since I am only a pound away I hope that making it keeps me motivated. After that we shall see. I could keep my increased water intake a goal as well. Another 4+ Liters today.

Ok, now I've got a headache kicking in. Good night. At looks, its a reasonable hour. Almost 9 p.m.

[OopsieDaisy]

Yesterday was a bad day! I should have known that showing up to work early would have dire consequences for me. But I should note that through it all I stuck to my program and drank my 4+ liters of water. It did not help that we had another potluck at work and everything smelled so good *drool*. I have no idea how I was able to keep it together.

I really don't like drama; and I like to think that I do a pretty good job of keeping away from it. So I get into work yesterday and I get an earful. Within 5 minutes I am calling people into my office and handling post-incident interviews. Twenty minutes later I was calling the other supervisor to let her know that we needed to talk to everyone involved. Sometimes I just don't understand why its the "mature" people are the most immature and senseless. After everything was said and done I found myself thanking my luck for having come into supervision with a really great group.

The end of the day could not come too soon. But I kept to my program; I think that was my only consolation at the end of the day. I will take my victories where I can take them. In some ways I think that my program is really turning into a security blanket for me. I have been finding an eerie comfort in the structure of the program. For the last 8 weeks it has not changed and I know what my options are; I make little adjustments now and then but it remains integrally the same. Protein/Vegetable, Protein/Vegetable, Protein/Vegetable sprinkled with fruit and crackers! Oh yeah and tons of water.

[mommabear]

I hear you about the routine! I just got re-feed and am worried about having a much loser routine!

[OopsieDaisy]

You are going to do great on re-feed Mommabear. The strangest thing is that when I first started the program I doubted whether the diet would really would be something that I could see myself eating for 3 + months. And now that I am here, I really enjoy my meals and even though I know in my mind it's diet food; my taste buds are thinking otherwise.

It's been almost three full weeks and I have been able to maintain a 4 + liters of water consumption everyday. I am pretty proud of myself. Today I took my Brita pitcher to work so that I would not have to fumble around multiple water bottles; and then I got a faucet filter for my condo. Today was better than yesterday; and I can't even begin to say how great that was. I wore my size 8 slacks to work! Yahoo! While I am not quite a true 8, I think I am well on my way. My top half is still bigger than my bottom half, so I will have to wait and see at which point they catch up with each other.

Food wise, I have been seriously tempted these past three days at work. While the original Potluck was on Tuesday, everyday since then the spread goes back up. I just have to keep my mind focused. Today marks the 9th week of my program. Would I really want to go through the sugar withdrawals all over again? Eek!

[KMac]

Oopsie your doing great! Don't cheat, sugar withdrawals stink!
I was reading about your drama at work and couldn't help think- how would you have handled that
had you not been on DC? Your head, hormones were all in a good place to deal with that situation.

I will take my victories where I can take them. In some ways I think that my program is really turning into a security blanket for me. I have been finding an eerie comfort in the structure of the program
I found comfort in the structure of Dc too. Going into re-feed your boundries get pushed and its now that I'm realizing- yes I can push those boundries all I want- but its not worth it, it doesn't feel good. I love the feeling of control over food- and making it not so important.
Take your victories- smelling pot luck and pulling out your DC lunch/dinner is a victory that deposits positive strength to keep trucking on this journey.
Good luck :)

[OopsieDaisy]

Hi KMac, I think you pose a very good question. I think that part of my dealing with it would have been bingeing on something completely unhealthy; and then I would have freaked out. Even though I was surrounded by drama, I was freakishly calm. I did not let myself get caught up in the crazy and was able to keep a level head. As for the sugar, I feel that same way; whenever I am tempted I just remind myself how horrible the first couple of days were. I have been finding that I get the sugar that I need from my fruit allowance :).

Yesterday and today were pretty good days. I drank over 5 liters of water yesterday and today. I was very amazed with myself. Of course that meant lots of trips to the ladies room, but it was ok. A couple of days ago I went out and got myself a water filter (the kind that attaches to the faucet) and I think it was a good investment. Not only am I able to maintain my water intake, I am also keeping plastic out of landfills. Ha! Let the greenification begin.

I went to the grocery store today and I can't believe that I completely forgot to get my yogurts! I guess that I can go one week without Fage for breakfast. I guess this means I will be having some great Zucchini Hash Browns for breakfast this week! Yummy :). Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day as well. I think my TOM symptoms are finally subsiding and I am getting back to "normal". While I ate all of my crackers, I was not as hungry as I had been before. Though of course I was hungry.

I have decided to make tentative shopping plans for tomorrow, I will be going to that part of town for a comedy show later in the evening so I figured what the heck. I ruined most of my undershirts and I should buy some more. Plus I could use a new pair of pants. Maybe I could even find a cute skirt at Old Navy. Or one of the other hundreds of shops at the Outlet Mall. Oo I know, I could get some new accessories too! *sigh* Now I can't wait until tomorrow.

[OopsieDaisy]

Another day, and all considered it was a good day. I spent most of the morning cooking and doing laundry. I completely outdid myself, water wise today; over 6 liters! Wow! No wonder I kept having to go to the ladies room.

I did a little shopping today, got myself a new pair of jeans, size 6! Who knew I could ever wear a pair of size 6 jeans. I don't know if I should be worried, but I have noticed that my bottom half has been shrinking faster than my top. I lost an inch around my midsection so that was pretty exciting too. So yeah, today was a good day. Now it's time for bed because I've got work tomorrow.

[Aqua Eyes]

AWESOME that you get to wear a Size 6. I know what that feeling is like! I will be getting back into that size very soon again.

[apachejenn]

Awesome!

I lose at weird places and times too. It usually goes hips/thighs, back/boobs, then calves, then stomach. It sucks because my hips are already thinner than anything else! But fat around your tummy is caused mostly from carbs, I believe. It also has to do with your bone structure.

[OopsieDaisy]

It's just really strange how I can wear size 6 jeans; but some of my shirts are still Large. I did try on a size 6 dress atTarget, and I actually almost fit it a couple more inches on top and I will totally be there! At this point, I think my but is actually concave. Ha! TMI, but it's ok. Considering all the stuff I have shared with everyone here, you are pretty much family. This day could not have started worse, but I am keeping positive. This time change is really messing with my head. It's 6:44 and there is still light out! How exciting!

Today I have been keeping up with my water intake, I have already drunk 4 liters of water and will probably drink another by the time I am done with dinner. That Brita pitcher that I took to work has really helped me save time, effort and money. Time: Don't have to go to the store just to buy water, Effort: Don't have to carry multiple bottles of water into work everyday with me; or Don't have to figure out how to get a case of water down 2 flights of stairs when the elevators go out; and Money: Well, bottled water can get pricy. I've got this funky headache (stress/tension) that I woke up with that kind of gets better than then worse. I am, however, finally above ground and no longer freezing. Oh how beautiful the sun is!

How is everyone else handling the time change? Even though I lost an hour of sleep, I love the fact that the sun is still out :).

Yesterday my friends referred to me as the "Incredible Shrinking Woman", and it made me smile. In my heart of hearts, I decided to do this program for my health; for my future and mostly ensure that I have one. But I can be a little vain, and when I get these complements it makes my resolve stronger; and I know that I am doing the right thing and that I am doing this the right way. Though lately I have seen an increase in questions on when I will stop doing the program. I feel like saying "People, I am not even half way through yet!" I think I've got 7 pounds before I am at least half way. Actually 6, because I lost a pound last week, not a lot; but one is more than none and more than the weight I would have gained had I been eating "the usual" stuff I would before the program.

[OopsieDaisy]

*sigh* Another day complete! I have had this incredible headache the last couple of days, and it is finally subsiding. I felt completely zombie-fied at work today, the day felt like it dragged on FOREVER. For some reason I have been really sore lately, almost as if I had overdone it at the gym. Which would make sense if I had been to the gym. Since I had not worked out recently, prior to starting my program; I have not been working out, unless you can count that day I went snowboarding. I really hope that I am not about to get sick.

I am just about ready to polish off 5 liters of water for the day. I would have been done by now, but when I got home from work I fell asleep. The only reason I got back up was because I knew that I had to have dinner; otherwise I would have slept until tomorrow. Ah, tomorrow .. St. Patrick's Day without booze and a day off of work. I just have to keep myself focused and work on that term paper that is due at the end of the week. Very exciting non-program related news: I got an A on my last assignment. In a way I think it's due to my participation in this program. Aside from having more energy, I feel like that brain fog that used to mess with me has dissipated. Part of it could be the discipline and structure of the program somehow bleeding out into other aspect of my life. Which is not a bad thing all together.

Ok, my arms are killing me; time to get back to bed. And I have just enough water left to take a pain reliever.

[mommabear]

Congrats on the A!!! Hope you aren't coming down with anything. Maybe it is just the snowboarding that has you sore?

[Key]

Hi Daisy - I love your new avatar! You look great. Sometimes when toxins are released from your body the process can cause muscle aches. This could be what you're feeling... or yes, it could be that snowboarding

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks Mommabear! I was so thrilled when I got my grade, I had actually taken this professor when I first started my Masters Program and I just could not break the "B" range; he was not a very big fan of my writing. I guess I must be growing as a writer.

Key, I hope its the toxin thing; though that sounds a little odd to say. My legs are not really as sore today, mostly my arms; though the strange thing is that the soreness comes and goes.

Today was super relaxing. A little too relaxing. Since I had the day off I spent most of the day trying to get better for tomorrow. I drank all 5 liters of water, and came across a realization. I eat out of boredom. Funny how I never realized this before, though it was probably because I was not paying attention to what I was eating. Since I spent the day doing a lot of nothing I could not help but countdown to my next meal. I think that drinking water helped though.

So I finally figured out the picture situation. I was trying to find some before pictures; but I did not find many. Some of these are kind of old, but I hope that putting them together will help me see how far I have come.

Before:

[/URL]

More Recent:
[URL=http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v468/princessdaezie/?action=view&current=ProfilePictureMarch2010.jpg] (http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v468/princessdaezie/?action=view&current=ProfilePicture2009.jpg)

I should add that I took that recent one bottom-top, the first one I had taken top-bottom (so you could not see the multiple chins). I guess there is more of a roundness to my face in the first; but still hard for me to see much of a difference.

[OopsieDaisy]

PS. Thanks Key, I finally figured out how to post the avatar!

Since that TOM is over I was curious and weighed myself, lost another 2 lbs! So I updated my ticker :)

[Nina]

Hi Oopsie,

I know it's good to drink a lot of water, but you need to be careful that you're not depleting the vitamin and minerals in your body without replacing them. In particular, potassium. You need it for your heart. Too little potassium can also cause muscle pain, leg cramps. That might be why you are feeling sore. Just a little tidbit I picked up from working in a doctor's office.

I personally need to drink more. :P

As for your picture, you may not see a difference but I certainly do. You look great. Keep up the good work.
:)

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the information Nina! I did not realize that too much water could do that. Maybe I'll dial it down to 4 liters per day and see how I feel. Now that I think about it, I started feeling bad Monday (after having drunk over 6 liters of water on Sunday and nearly that much on Saturday too). My headaches have gone away though, so I am glad that I can use my noggin' again.

[OopsieDaisy]

I just realized that I have been MIA for a couple of days now. Eek! Well this weekend has been a real roller coaster, or should I say was. It's almost 1 am. What in the world am I still doing up. Oh well.

I gave in to temptation *dun dun dun* and I weighed myself. I have lost another 3 pounds. Wow! I am actually 1 pound away from being exactly half way to my goal weight. My current BMI is 27.21 which means I am 2.22 away from being in the "Normal" range! These last couple of days I have definitely cut down my water consumption and have been hovering around 3 liters per day. 5 pounds away from breaking into the 130's! I don't think I have been there since Jr High.

Ok, time for bed. After all, I do have to get up for work in the morning. And just my luck, its Finals Week!

[mommabear]

Yeah!!!! Congrats!!!!!!!!

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks Mommabear! The more I look at your weight loss by month, I am reminded of how much I have been losing as well. My weight loss goal is pretty close to yours also. I can't wait to get to where you are :).

I was so stoked that I have been on Cloud 9. And then it happened! Monday *sigh* and I had to go to work. I have a final on Wednesday, but I am not letting it stress me out. And I am not going to. Since yesterday I have been feeling this great sense of accomplishment, almost half way to my goal. If you had asked me last December, that I would be in the 140's by middle of March, I would have laughed.

When I first got my program I thought it was a little ludacris, I mean me at 106 pounds .. yeah right. To lose 74 pounds, that's almost 40% of my body mass. So I made a little deal with myself, don't doubt just do. I figured 12 weeks, I can give it a shot and if it doesn't work oh well, I would just go and grab a burger. Well, 10 weeks into my program and I just signed up for 12 more. It's working, it's actually working; and I am loving the fact that I get to make my own food and KNOW exactly what goes into my food. Someone went to my favorite Burger place today and brought it back to the office. I smelled it and rather than smell some delicious meal, I felt like I was inhaling the stentch of grease. Who knew! That I would turn my nose up at a burger and say "Thanks, but no thanks". Though if I were being honest with myself, I would not turn down a homemade sandwich (with grilled chicken breast of course). I am sure that my tastebuds have changed dramatically otherwise I would have been salivating when I walked into the office.

38 pounds to go! Less than 2 weeks until the end of my first phase of the program; and then another 12 weeks! I have no idea how long it will take me to lose, but for the first time; I am really not in a hurry. I had made a Daisy Chain for the first 12 weeks and I stopped taking off links weeks ago. Now it feels like time is just flying past me.

So I have decided to start a "Walking Club" at work. Today was our first official day! Nothing too extrenuous, after all we do have to come back to work (it's a lunch time thing), and we are not trying to stink up the office. We actually ended up going out twice. Lunch time walk was 30 minutes and the break time walk was just under 15 minutes. I actually felt pretty energized afterwards, and so were my walking buddies. I know that we are not supposed to over do the exercise, but it's a very moderate walk and it really serves to get me out of that windowless, depressing, drab sub-basement that I work in. I think that part of success on the program is also attitude, and while I have been keeping positive (for the most part) I feel like I am trapped in a dungeon at work, and it really helps to get out and see the Sun.

[OopsieDaisy]

Another day is in the bag! I drank 3.5 liters of water today; and the soreness has yet to return (well at least not as bad as last week). The walking has left my calves a little sore, but the good kind of sore. Today's walks were really brisk and I was a little glad that we were able to go again. It was just two of us today and we were able to keep a really good pace. The lunch third was out sick today, and the break time third was being flaky. I really am glad that I started walking at lunch. I get back and I just feel loads better; the day doesn't seem to drag at the end and being out in the sun is nice.

Thanks to Suzanne, I've got this amazing new recipe for 'Baked Apple" which is AMAZING!! If you want to see it check out "Suzanne's Progress". While I enjoy just eating an apple as is, I never thought it could be this great too. I have packed a few things and am planning on making it at work tomorrow. I just hope I don't forget anything.

Today was a good day, while my walking is not quite demanding I did feel like I could have gone for an extra piece of fruit yesterday. Today it was not as bad. Though I can imagine that it probably helped that I was busy with other stuff at work. I have some time off at work coming up soon, so I really have to buckle down and clear as much junk as I can off of my desk. Since I should be back in my office tomorrow I hope I can get the bulk of it done then. I have not really made any big plans, mostly I will be watching my little sister; which of course means that I should clean up a bit. Vacuum, clean the kitchen and bathroom, and pick up the mess of books in the spare bedroom.

Today I was tempted to weigh myself, but I ran to the kitchen and ate my breakfast instead. I had a meeting and had to anyway. Oddly enough, even though I ate breakfast earlier, I was not really that hungry by the time lunch came around. And my dinner was pretty late also. Let me see, breakfast was at 7:30; I had lunch around 12:45 (I had to take an early lunch); and dinner was not until 8:45. Sometimes I really cut close to that 9 pm deadline. I will try to have an early breakfast again tomorrow and see how it goes. That of course means that I should get to sleep since it's already after midnight.

[apachejenn]

Something I learned: the cinnamon on the apple and parsley flakes on other foods help with PMS and TOM symptoms. I will be incorporating that next time!

[OopsieDaisy]

Really? I did not realize that. I recently discovered parsley flakes with my grilled chicken breast and yum :) I prepared that apple concoction for my mid morning snack and it really hit the spot. So today I realized that my little walks during lunch are actually about 1.5 miles. In addition to that the break time walks are another 0.5 miles. Today I swung my arms like nobody's business, almost power walking mode (hahaha) and they are kind of sore; though I noticed that I can get a longer stride as I swing my arms more. I think I have been a little hungrier than usual today, but I am sure it will pass. I think it's just nerves that come with the end of the quarter. Spring break, here I come!

[sdp126]

Oopsie, I am so sorry your mom is pushing your buttons right now.

Sadly, what you are experiencing with your mom is what many of us experience with our spouses, friends and family, too.

You see, if you've been overweight for a while, it becomes part of who you are and has an impact on your relationships.

You say your mom is beautiful. Do you know you are beautiful, too? I assume your mom is not or hasn't been overweight?? Now that you are losing weight, she is threatened. She is older than you and is probably insecure about losing her looks. All this time, whether right or wrong, she has been able to tell herself that at least she looks better because she is thin, even if she's older.

Now, with you trimming down, you are poised to outshine her. You'll be thin AND young AND beautiful. People are weak. It's not that your mom is a bad person, she's just insecure. If you become a butterfly and stand next to her, her perceived "flaws" will be exposed.

I've gone through this with my husband. I've been fat pretty much our whole marriage. I was thin when he met me. We've had problems in our marriage, but where was I going to go? Who was going to be attracted to me at 248? Then around 40, I get the idea to go back to school and start losing weight. The problems in our marriage intensified. He acted like he was trying to control me ~ he would put me down in subtle ways because I think he was afraid I would get thin, start a career and leave him. So, he started trying to impede my progress. We've been in counseling for several months and I think he realizes that his actions were not going to KEEP me, but drive me away = a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Don't let your mom get away with slamming you, but try to understand she's just insecure. Tell her what you think the problem might be and reassure her that she's beautiful. It's pretty hard on us women as we age.

((HUGS))

And you are truly a beauty.

Suzanne

[sdp126]

Oopsie - I think my apple recipe is actually a 1PD recipe I found here on the recipe boards or in the recipe book. But thanks for giving me credit. :)

Suzanne

[mommabear]

Very well said Suzanne. It is very true and I have seen hints of this same attitude in friendships as well as family. It is interesting to watch. But, I just know where it is coming from and forget about it.

[OopsieDaisy]

Thank you so much Suzanne and Mommabear! When that happened I kind of had to sit by myself for a while. I really love my mom, and I know that she doesn't mean to be cruel. She has been much more supportive since then and I think she is realizing that this is a choice I made and that I am going to stick by it. And no, she has never been overweight like me. After my youngest sister was born she did gain some weight, but was able to lose it pretty quickly.

I have a confession to make. Yesterday (or should I say Wednesday night) I was supposed to take my final for the class that just wrapped up. Well, the professor cancelled the final and instead the class met at this bar near campus. I was good in the sense that I drank a diet pepsi and water. No liquor for me :) (even though my friends still do not believe that I could have possibly have gone this long with out it). Well, I had intended on staying a couple of hours 6-8, 9 at the latest. Of course, I did not have my dinner with me. I planned to come home early enough to nuke it in the microwave. I guess we all know what happens with best laid plans .. I did not make it home until 12:30 (yikes!). I was so tired and there was no way that I was going to eat that late. So I ended up skipping a meal yesterday. I felt so bad because it's supposed to be my "medicine" and I just knew that I was going to be super hungry all day today. Well surprise, surprise .. being out in the cold yesterday actually made me a little sick. I have been sneezing and coughing all day. Which is a good/bad thing. Bad because, well who wants to be sick. And good because I can't stand the sight of food when I am sick; so I was not starving because of my missed meal. But then bad because, it's Spring Break .. and I will be laid out on the couch. Oh well, at least I have my A to console me (yup, aced the course).

Today I did not drink as much water, barely 2.5 liters .. turns out my re-useable bottle has a hole in it. I had water all over my shirt and skirt, speaking of which I was able to wear my super cute Petite Medium shirt today. I had purchased that because it was on clearance and super cheap. It did not fit very well, so it had been sitting in my closet for a couple of months now. My first twelve weeks are going to be ending pretty soon, next Thursday will be my 84th day on the program. I still can't believe that I have stuck it out this far. The co-worker that I have been walking with sent me a text message after work; apparently my salads look so tasty that she asked if I could prepare an extra lunch for tomorrow and I am packing an extra apple. She very specifically requested that I bring an extra apple. If she likes the food well enough she may just join us here :). Ok, I think my medication is starting to kick in and of course it's after midnight again. *sigh* Someday I will get to bed early, at least I took a nap when I got home from work

[OopsieDaisy]

It's official, I am less than a week away from completing my first 12 weeks. The exciting thing is that I have past the halfway mark. Last week I had lost 36 pounds and have 38 to go; and now I have lost 38 pounds and have 36 to go! Today I went to the spa with my friends/co-workers and I had an amazing time; that said I am so relaxed and mellow that I am a little sleepy. More to come later ..

[OopsieDaisy]

This weekend has been pretty eventful. Well, really this past week has been eventful. I decided that I was going to try a little exercise, moderated of course. A friend and I have been walking around downtown during our breaks and lunch. I even went out and got some of those new Shape-Ups. The first day was a little trying, mostly because I was nervous as I did not know whether the exercise would make me hungrier. The odd part has been that I have actually been less hungry lately. I have been going without my morning snack and have been making reminders for myself to eat.

This week was finals week at school and I Aced my class; which of course made me very happy.

I spent Saturday painting *ouch* my arms! And actually got inspired to continue working on my kitchen. I have decided that I am going to re-do the kitchen cabinets and get in there and organize all the junk I have stored away. I picked out paint and went out and got lining for the shelves. Today *dun dun dun * I went to the Spa! Who knew?! Me at a Spa! I had never been before, so it was a pretty exciting day. I wore an old bathing suit, and I noticed something different in myself. I wasn't totally self-conscious about the way I looked in it. I was comfortable walking around in my bathing suit. Who knew?! Maybe I will even go to the pool at my complex tomorrow. I got a facial at the Spa and it was awesome. I also got to rub mud all over my arms and legs (it felt really strange when it started to dry).

And then it happened! I repeated Wednesday's problem :( I did not pack a lunch, as I thought we would be getting home earlier and I did not eat until 6:30 pm which of course meant that I did not eat dinner. I considered a really really late dinner, but that would not even be possible for another 15 minutes. But that is not going to happen. Somehow I ended up having eaten only 1 fruit today, so around 9 I had an orange and have been feeling pretty satisfied so far. I have my bottle of water next to me and will probably go to bed soon so no time for more food anyhow. I don't know why I keep doing this! It is very frustrating that I feel like I am just not prepared, or at least as prepared, anymore. I need to focus.

Next week is a new quarter at school; I am beginning another 12 weeks soon, so this is no time to start slacking off. I just have to remind myself, I am more than half way there. In 3 pounds I will be in the 130s. And in 12 pounds my BMI will be at 'normal'. Time to focus.

[OopsieDaisy]

Everywhere I turn, I see the number 3! 3 pounds away from breaking into the 130's. I am excited and anxious all at the same time. I have even considered purchasing a full length mirror. Currently the only mirror in my house is the one in the bathroom. What can I say, I haven't really been a fan of looking at myself.

My legs are still sore, though I cannot imagine that it is still because of the walking. In which case, those shoes are amazing. The day at the Spa was nice and relaxing, but the soreness is slowly making its way back. My sisters are spending the night at my place tonight, and it has been temptation to the extreme. My little sister brought her own food; or rather my mom packed some food for her. Spaghetti, Mac & Cheese, Sweet Bread .. the homemade stuff. And then my middle sister went out and brought back some Thai food; oo I can still smell the chili sauce and that Thai Iced Tea *drool*. I stayed strong, but I don't know. Even if I did not eat the Pad Thai, I really just wanted to dip my finger into the chili sauce.

Enough of that, other than those late night temptations; it was a good day. I prepared my breakfast at my moms and brought the fixins' for my usual salad. My little sister and I stopped by the grocery store and I made my usual zucchini lasagna for dinner. Sometimes I think that I should mix it up, but I really enjoy those meals and I don't really want to mess with that right now. It must have been a tiring day, because it's only 10 and I am exhausted; time for bed. Good night!

[OopsieDaisy]

Today was pretty good. I woke up late, 9, and figured I was probably going to lazy around. Turns out I was wrong. My cousin called and invited my sisters and I to go to The Living Desert out in Palm Desert. Wow! Lots, strike that, tons of walking. My uncle came too, so the walking was a bit slower than I am used to; but some is better than none. He recently had a stroke and walks with a cane, I know he must have been so tired by the end of the day but he did not show it. Since he has been placed on disability he has been staying cooped up at home, so it's nice to see him out and about.

My little sister is still at my place, since we are both on Spring Break I took a couple of vacation days to spend time with her. I am kind of sad that tomorrow will be our last day together :(. I will be going back to work on Thursday and she will be spending the rest of her week with my other sister. Since I live alone it was nice to have someone here. At the same time, because she has been here I have been exposed to more temptation that usual. But here I am, deviation free. I even prepared the "Baked Apple" for her and she actually liked it! On the car ride home from our little field trip my cousin kept commenting how great my food smelled.

Two days! In two days my first twelve weeks will come to an end. I've heard that time flies when you are having fun, but I can't imagine most people would think of this as fun. I tend to get really nervous when these weigh ins come around. I just need to remember to get up a little earlier on Friday so that I can weigh myself before I leave for work. Oh yeah, and remember to measure myself too. I think I have definitely hit a plateau. And I hope that the little bit of walking that I have been doing will help. The good news is that I have not been hungrier.

To think, when I started this program I felt a little overwhelmed; 74 pounds seemed like such a giant hurdle that I did not know whether I would be able to keep myself that focused. And now, I have 36 pounds to go! Who knew?! I look at my ticker and think that it cannot be real. Me, 36 pounds to the goal set for me. My cousin kept trying to get me to at least order a salad at the restaurant; but I resisted, I had packed my own salad and it was waiting for me out in the car (kept it in a cooler with an ice pack). I think she just feels weird to eat in front of me.

As I sat there and watched my sister, cousin and uncle enjoy their cheeseburgers and fries I realized that the temptation is slowly dissipating and being replaced by an internal, mental calculator that makes me question the following: 1)Is that portion of food appropriate? 2)How many calories are in that one meal? 3)What exactly went into the preparation of that meal? 4)Is that a balanced meal? and finally 5)How is that meal going to effect a person's energy for the rest of the day? I know, I am a strange duck; but I am used to it.

[KMac]

Congratualtions on resisting temptation.. it really only makes you mentally much stronger.
Don't worry aboutyour weigh in.. I am sure you did better then you realize. I looked foward to
measurements, I was usually suprised in a least one area. I remember being disappointed on weigh in and then
I measured myself and lost 4 inches in my waist- so you never know where its coming from but it is coming from somewhere! lol
:)

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the support KMac! I hope I did well during these last four weeks; and I might just have a pleasant surprise.

Today was another wonderful mini vacation day. The sad part is that I go back to work tomorrow :(. But I went to the salon and got my new haircut; I even changed my avatar! I have not figured out how to keep the bangs out of my hair, but I am sure that I will get used to it. I briefly debated changing up my meals, but I am still loving the salad with grilled chicken and the zucchini lasagna. I figure if it's not broke why fix it.

Tomorrow is my last day of the first 12 weeks on the program. Wow! I still cannot believe that I have made it this far.

[apachejenn]

I changed up my meals this morning with tuna and veggies for breakfast. Even though I liked it, I found the zucchini pancakes more filling. Your hair looks cute! Good luck on the results for 12 weeks!

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks! I am still getting used to the short hair, the bangs keep getting into my eye. Ouch. Today has been going pretty well. Yesterday was strange in that I did not eat all of my fruit or cracker allowances; I spent most of the day out and about, I guess I must have just forgotten about it. Which doesn't really make sense, how does one forget food? I have made a mental note to start keeping track of my water in take again.

Today is my first day back at work, after my mini vacation. For the most part it was going ok but as I started getting ready to leave the office for my presentation *bam* lost things everywhere. The room where I was supposed to make my presentation was changed, last minute of course; so I get to the new place and the projector screen is not working. So now, I get to sit here and look pretty; eating my crackers and drinking water (but not too much water because the break won't come for another 30 - 45 minutes at least).

Eeek! Today is my last day of the first 12 weeks! And I still have not gotten my blood test referral. I am really curious to see how I have done these last four weeks. I have been getting more complements lately and even my little sister called me skinny. In my mind I keep thinking, how is that possible, I have not reached my goal yet; I look the same to me. Maybe everyone else is just weird.

[apachejenn]

Everyone calls me "Skinny Minnie" now. Someone asked me today if I felt different, and I was like...no, I don't feel different. LOL

Well, we're anxiously awaiting the update!

[OopsieDaisy]

Hi Skinny Minnie :) I know what you mean, I have been getting those same questions. And much like you, I am very much myself and I feel just as I did before I started; well at least the big important things that make me, me.

So I had my official weigh in Friday morning and *dun dun dun* I lost another 10 pounds and 4 inches; I was in a hurry because I was late to work as usual so I weighed myself again on Saturday morning. 11 pounds lost! I am in the 130's. Me, I have made it to the 130's. To be honest I cannot really remember at which point in my life I was in the 130's.

I have begun my second 12 weeks and tomorrow will also mark the beginning of another quarter at school. It's going to be a pretty crazy schedule for the next 10 weeks. I should be done with these next 12 weeks a week after my final. And I will have to wait and see where I will be by then. 40 pounds in 12 weeks, not too bad; right? With the added extra pound loss from Saturday I am that much closer to my goal. *sigh* I am getting antsy though, some days it just feels like it is not coming fast enough.

[apachejenn]

Wooo hoo! 33 pounds left, that's correct right? That should be really easy! Congrats!

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks Jenn! And yes, that means I have 33 pounds to go. Right now I am just so jazzed that I am in the 130's. I have been riding on that high for a couple of days now. I went to the amazing Mexican restaurant with a friend on Saturday where they even make their own tortillas and I did not deviate, I even looked at the salsa and said no thank you. By the way, I L-O-V-E salsa. Seeing those number decrease just gives me more of an incentive to keep on going.

Recently I went to the Spa with a co-worker and her daughter, she was so impressed with my loss (the daughter) that she will be joing the program when she returns from her vacation to Japan. Wow! To think I inspired someone to chose a healthier lifestyle, I just can't believe it.

Today was my first day back at school, a new quarter, same professor and being me .. I showed up to the wrong classroom. Yikes! It was so cold outside and my fingers were freezing; the rain did not help. I was about 10 minutes late but then the class ran about 10 minutes too long so I hauled but to get back to work. Since the class is in the middle of the day I take an early lunch and a little extra vacation time to make up the time it takes to get to school and back. Now that I have had my first day, I think I have got a pretty good route planned in my head; hopefully Wednesday will not be as crazy. And it will help greatly that I will be going to the right classroom.

Odd, now what am I supposed to do after work?

[apachejenn]

Well technically you CAN have pico de gallo, you just have to make it yourself. Onions, tomatoes, cilantro, lime, etc. It does help to have chile in it but it's mild Mexican flavor ;P

I miss Mexican food so much. I know my stomach won't handle a lot of it, thanks to that bout with tempura, but things like tacos and pollo asada...mmmmmmmmmm...

[m01e]

Congratulations on your most recent weigh in, OopsieDaisy!

We have roughly the same amount to lose so I follow your progress. You've come this far so you are correct, kick it up a notch! I know they say that the last few pounds are the hardest to lose but I know for sure that your second 12-week session will take care of that. All the more reason to stay true to the plan and not deviate! :weights2:

We can do it! :weights:

[ElizabethRedux]

Daisy, congratulations on getting to the 130s!!!! What an accomplishment! It seems like it will be ages before I get there...but I'll keep on moving along. What an inspiration you are.

I have to say that I am so impressed that you were able to go to a Mexican restaurant...if I went to one, I just might cry. There is a Mexican restaurant near me that makes the most amazing guacamole. And tortillas. And maragaritas. It would be very hard for me! My husband and I went to Costa Rica two years ago and fell IN LOVE with gallo pinto (rice & beans), and that, actually, is what I have been craving. And maybe not so much the rice and beans part of it, but the flavor. But you're so right -- seeing the numbers on the scale go down is far more appealing than spending a few minutes eating something I'll regret later on.

Good luck shedding those last few pounds...how long have you been on the plan?

BTW, I love your new profile picture!

[ElizabethRedux]

Never mind my question about how long you've been on plan...I just read that you started your second 12 weeks. Duh.

[mommabear]

Hey Oopsie!

Congrats on your loss! You are moving right along and will be there in no time! I think 40 pounds in 12 weeks is pretty amazing! That is an average of 3.3 pounds per week! That is a very high average! I only averaged 2.5 pounds a week. You are smokin'!

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks to everyone for your support, I was a little nervous getting on that scale and to be honest I have no idea how it was going to go; last month I was a little disappointed for losing 10 pounds. I must have gained a little perspective because the 10 pound loss this month was actually exciting for me.

Jenn, I actually considered making salsa for myself; but I don't know how I would handle the salsa without the jalapeno peppers. The salsa is all about the spicy component for me. I will just have to keep going and look forward to getting my peppers back and can make some super spicy salsas. Yum!

m01e, Thanks for your encouragement. I have actually started walking around work during my lunches and breaks; so I am slowly incorporating some light/moderate exercise. I really hope that helps me get through the plateaus. So far I have not been any hungrier than usual; actually the opposite is happening. I am less hungry. It's probably because I have been drinking more water because of the exercise.

Elizabeth, You can do this too! And you are going to be such an inspiration for someone soon. Hmm, maybe I will visit Costa Rica on my next vacation. I am such a fool for spicy food; I could probably forgo fast food for the rest of my life, but spicy foods *gasp* that would be an abomination. Ha! I am such a drama queen sometimes. I still cannot get over how short my hair is now, and what really freaks me out about my pictures is that my clavicle has been sticking out. Who knew it could do that?

Mommabear, Thanks! I have been so focused on keeping myself on track that I really don't know how I am going to handle anything other than my current plan. To be honest I thought that I was on the lower end of the average weight loss. Sometimes I think I just can't shake being an overachiever; in my mind I keep thinking I could do better. In some ways it keeps me motivated, but at the same time it drives me crazy when I don't meet some ridiculous goal that I thought up in some crazed haze.

Yesterday I went to the gym! Yes, I worked out. I did not go walking at work yesterday and I decided to give this new gym a try and I liked what I saw. I did 26 minutes on the elliptical and went for 2 miles. And then I did a circuit training routine that they had set up (arms, stomach and legs). Just once, which is about a 15 minute routine, and recommended for beginners. Today I went back and became an official member. $12 a month, so not bad at all. Now I should mention that I did go walking at work today. Then at the gym I went a little farther than I usually do because I was killing time waiting for my gym buddy to show up. I ended up on the bike for 18 minutes (3 miles); we did 1 round of circuit training again and finally 25 minutes on the elliptical (2+ miles). I am feeling pretty good right now. I am going to watch out for increased hunger, but so far I have been feeling pretty well. With the exception of today; the slow introduction of exercise into my daily routine has been good for me (or at least I think so). I am gearing up to make these next 12 weeks count! Heck yeah, I am dialing it up a notch and tomorrow I am going to try to kick it up (I am planning on attending the Cardio Kickboxing class). Wish me luck! I am going to need it.

[apachejenn]

I miss being able to tear it up at the gym. That's a good deal for a gym membership! $12? Sweet!

Yeah I tried to make carne asada, and it just didn't turn out without the spice. Also, you need beef with a little fat in it. I gave up on beef and chicken on this diet after that.

I hope the next 12 weeks flies by for the both of us. :D

[OopsieDaisy]

I think I am going back to the gym today for a little work out, just 25 minutes of cardio and 1 round of circuit training. I will probably be done within 45 minutes. I was so sore when I went for my AM and PM walks, but I pushed through and I feel ok. I think I was just annoyed that the wind kept messing my hair up. Lame, I know. Even though my workout yesterday was longer than intended; I feel even less hungry today. I completely forgot about my crackers and have only had one piece of fruit, and really only at that because people were looking at my lunch asking "Is that ALL you are going to eat?". *sigh*

[mommabear]

Yeah for you, Oopsie! Keep up the great work!

[OopsieDaisy]

Another week completed! I can't believe that I have just started week #14. I did some clothes shopping this week and it was amazing that I was able to get into a fitted Medium sized button down shirt. I have lost another 2 pounds, I am feeling really bloated and I was a little hesitant to weigh myself. I will probably go back to the gym today. I did not go Thursday or Wednesday because I had to take care of some things at school after work and then it was just too late. My arms were killing me yesterday. I hope that I can go through the entire cycle of Circuit Training without much of a problem today.

[OopsieDaisy]

While yesterday turned out to be a very productive day, I did not go to the gym. I ended up cleaning my home, went out and bought some clothes and of course did a little grocery shopping. I was supposed to do laundry today, but I got a little sidetracked. I actually woke up with a headache, so I didn't really feel like doing much for most of the morning. Though I am happy to report that I did go to the gym later in the evening and did a little more grocery shopping, just a couple of things that were not available at the store I went to yesterday. I even prepared a fish meal; and I ate it! I am by no means a seafood enthusiast, but it actually turned out pretty good. No fishy taste and the preparation was not as horrendous and I would have otherwise imagined.

I am still feeling a bit bloated, but I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens. I am somewhere in the middle of Week #14 right now and have decided to start experimenting with my recipes again. Just to shake things up a bit. I prepared a chicken dish for dinner, pretty much added every spice and herb I could get my hand on and it turned out pretty good. I was happily surprised to say the least. Sometimes it really feels like the weekends really are not long enough. Work tomorrow. And of course it's nearly midnight and I am still up and about. Someday .. I will go to sleep at more reasonable hours; that day is just not today.

[apachejenn]

When I get bloated I drink green tea. It's a diuretic and helps get rid of some of that extra water weight.

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the tip Jenn! I think I may have some tea bags and I am sure that it would not taste bad with the sweetener.

Today I went to the gym, so because I am a new member I got a work out session with a trainer; I think that I am definitely going to be feeling it tomorrow. Though I am not quite sure whether I want to commit to a work out regimen with a trainer; he seemed nice enough, but it is $$ that I could be using for my vacation to Europe in September. Yup, you heard that right. Today my friend and I decided that we are headed overseas, yahoo!

Today was a good day; at least until the end of the work day (but I think in the end that I handled it pretty well). I did not go on my daily work walks today :( But I am sure that my workout today made up for that.

[apachejenn]

Travel! Awesome! You probably don't even need the trainer. I would buy a Jillian Michael's DVD, do that 3 times a week, then supplement it with cardio and weight training at the gym.

[ElizabethRedux]

Daisy, how exciting! Is your trip a "reward" for your success on the program? My friend (who is also doing the plan) and I have made mini rewards along the way. We're planning a trip (not sure where yet) when we've both reached goal. Something fun to look forward to and it's a great incentive to do well! Do you know where you're headed? My husband & I went to Paris & London in 2000 and we had hoped to go back this year (for our 10th anniversary)...sadly we didn't get to go back. So I'll take a moment to be completely envious of you!!

Have you been exercising all along, or did you just reintroduce it? I haven't done anything (aside from little walks or bike rides with the kids, which doesn't really count), but my body feels like it should be doing something.

[OopsieDaisy]

Jenn,
The more I think about it, the more I am resolved not to go with the personal trainer. The guy was great, don't get me wrong. But after giving it some thought, I remembered that the guy who was trying to get me to sign up was talking about changing my diet; and that is just NOT happening. So I might just follow your advice. Though I am so sore today that I won't be stopping by the store after work. More likely than not, I will do that tomorrow. Tonight I just want to go home and get some rest.

Elizabeth,

I have never been to Europe, so I am really excited. I cannot wait until September rolls around; in a way I kind of hope to be done with my program by then. At this point I still have 32 pounds to go; so I will just have to wait and see. In a way it gives me a little more motiavation to hit the gym and give my loss a swift kick in the rear. At this point we are trying to make arrangements for London, Paris and Germany (not sure where yet). I also have a friend in Scotland, so maybe a quick trip there too :). I really only started exercising recently. It all started about a month ago; a co-worker and I would go out and walk on our lunch breaks. Then we added a shorter walking route during our AM/PM breaks. I did not join the gym until exactly one week ago today. At the gym I stick to cardio and then 1 round on the circuit training machines. I was doing ok, but yesterday ... *dun dun dun*

I worked out with the trainer and while I knew that I would be a little sore today; I did not expect this. To be honest, I did not know how I made it through the AM and lunch time walks so far. I have one more walk at 3pm and I just hope that my legs do not fall off. I think that the weight training totally outdid me yesterday; about 30 minutes of it. When I usually only do 15 on the machines. Today I was have been starving! Yikes, that means that I definitely over did something. I have been trying to remain very conscious of what makes me hungrier and try to address that immediately. So this was quite a learning experience. I think that when I go back to the gym tomorrow I will feel better prepared to handle those free weights. Definitely no gym tonight. I think that I am lucky that I have not taken a tumble down the stairs yet.

OMG!! I am hungry today :( All my fault I know. I have already eaten 2 of my fruit allowances and 2 of my cracker allowances. I have moved onto gum, which usually helps to keep my hunger at bay and picked up a Sprite Zero. I just need to at least make it another 3 hours and then I will have my last crackers of the day. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Once I get to vamoose for the day, I am heading home to get some sleep. I hope you are all having a much better day than I.

[apachejenn]

I know you want to get started toning and working out, but you should look up the calories of what you're eating. It is a bare minimum amount. If you want to work out, you need at least 800 more than that. Your body is surviving off this minimum amount, and when you work out beyond just burning fat, you require immediate fuel to push you through that work out. Then, you are tearing your muscles by pushing it, and you aren't eating protein after to heal your muscles. You're doing more harm than good. People who bodybuild usually eat some carbs before a work out and then some protein immediately after. You probably can't do that on this diet.

Working with a trainer makes you burn 600+ calories in one session. That's almost a full day of food. Where are you getting the energy to push through that? Nowhere. I limit my working out to 30 minutes once a week at most.

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the information Jenn. I never really considered how many calories I would be burning. The hunger was not really that bad today, but now I am not sure whether it was all the workout or that my TOM is looming and I tend to get hungrier and so tired when that comes around. When I work out, and I don't really include my walks at work working out, I do 25 minutes of cardio and then 15 minutes on the circuit trainer.

These last two days have been interesting to say the least. I feel like I have been going through an emotional roller coaster. I wore my new CK dress today! And it was a size 8! Got tons of complements, which would bring any girls spirits up. But I am still feeling pretty tired. When I got home yesterday I finished reading my book and fell asleep. 12 hours later it was time to go to work; and to be honest I could have slept a little longer too! I really only got out of bed because I had to pee so badly.

I feel like I have had a lot of time to think lately; and I just might be ready to get out into the dating scene. Maybe. I think. I have actually been talking to my co-workers about their first dates and how they felt when they met their significant others. I was surprised to find that the majority of them "knew" right away that their spouses were it. A good portion ended up marrying their first serious significant other as well. Not that I am thinking about getting married, not at all. It just really struck me how sure these ladies seemed and how they just "knew". I will freely admit that I know very little. One of them offered to go on a double date. Nice, but there is no guy; at which time she offered to find one for me. Gotta love that teamwork right?

School is going well. I am getting used to leaving work in the middle of the day and then coming back to finish the day out. I still have to remind a few folks that I am out of the office though, but I am sure that by the time they remember I will be back at work full time.

Lately I have been trying not to obsess about the scale, but I can't stop thinking that I am 8 pounds away from a "normal" BMI. Right now I am at 26.07, and normal starts at 24.99. Yikes! And to think when I started out I was somewhere in obese. 8 pounds! I wish it would come quickly. Then of course I would obsess about getting to 120! I know, lots to obsess about. I think that my planned trip to England is really lighting a fire under my butt because I really really really really want to be done with my program by then. Hmm .. 32 pounds to go and September is about 7 months away. I really really really want to visit a few pubs and drink a beer! In moderation of course :).

So for now, I have to keep focused on my goal. *grrr* I will get you 32 pounds of fat! One way or another I will expel you from my body *menacing glare*. For now, I deeply dislike the number 32!

[apachejenn]

I think it may be TOM. Last time I had a meltdown and had to go run I realized I was PMSing. The symptoms have really never hit this hard, but before I could just pop a Ghiradelli square and be back to normal. Not anymore D: I'm already excessively hungry and craving chocolate like mad. That's why I tossed those cookies out...I knew I wouldn't resist them unless they were coated with bacteria D:

My new goal is to be a size 8 by the end of these three months. That's three sizes, just like the first three months. D:

Speaking of tired. I am tired! D: Off to bed!

[Kitty]

Oopsie,
You are really funny! I will join your band wagon...32 sucks!

And my opinion is that you should totally date. I loved dating! When I met my husband I though he was so arrogant, but he had a sweet car...and I needed a ride. It's not always an immediate connection. Put on your size 8 and get out there.

[OopsieDaisy]

Jenn,
I keep wanting to think that is what is going on, but Yikes! It has been a horrible couple of days and the visitor has not made it. I was so hungry at work this morning, I thought I was going to eat everything out of my lunch bag in one sitting; the strange this was that by the time lunch rolled around I was cool as a cucumber. I even ate my lunch late. I snacked before I left work and even though the yoga class ran longer than anticipated and I ended up having a late dinner I was totally fine. A little on the thirsty side. But the more I think about it, I have really been craving that fruit; something sweet. Ha! I actually have 4 boxes of girl scout cookies in my freezer right now. Someday I will get to eat one. But not today. I like your new goal! I will be rooting for you :).

Kitty,
Thank you for joining the "I Hate 32" squad; though we may be small in number, we are mighty in will power (after all, we would have to be to stay away from all of those temptations). I think I am going to try to get out there and just start talking to people; you know, be more sociable and see where that goes. While I am not completely socially awkward, it is really difficult for me to pick up signals from the opposite ***. I don't do well with subtleties, I think it's because I am not so good at being subtle. I still can't believe that I wore a size 8 dress!

Today was a really strange day, but it's over with now and I can only hope that tomorrow will be great! I went to my first ever Yoga class and I really enjoyed it. My flexibility is so-so, but afterwards I just felt so relaxed. My legs are not as sore as they were before, which is always a plus and I even made it all the way to the top of the stairs without taking a break (twice .. I thought I had left something in my car). I was able to accomplish a few things at work today, and I hope that tomorrow flies by. I know the morning will be pretty wild, but once I come back from class in the afternoon I am sure I will have tons to catch up on.

Ok, so here is the news *dun dun dun* I have booked my flight to London! And I may also be booking another flight to Cancun for my summer adventures this year. Yahoo! Now I just have to focus on sticking to my program at all costs. I really really really really really really, etc want to be done with my program by the time I start my various vacations. What do you think from now until August? 32 pounds to go. Today marks the end of my 14th week. In two more weeks I will have another official weigh in. I might just weigh myself tomorrow morning, curiosity and all; I just hope that I am not disappointed.

[OopsieDaisy]

Pity party, table for 1.

1 pound lost this week. I can't help but feel that I have done something wrong.

[Kitty]

Subtleties? When I first read it I was like "sub-titles"? But your way makes much more sense. Actually, sub titles might make life so much easier...

Yoga sounds fun. I am not very flexible anymore either but I have the urge to stretch my bod. How did you decide how much excercise was okay for you to do?

Last but not least: Pity doesn't deserve a party! If you can look at yourself and honestly say that you have stuck to your program then relax and trust the process. We all will plateau and we all will move past it. Drink some extra water, e mail your consultant and get excited for next weeks amazing results. You will do great! Have a better day!
Kitty

[OopsieDaisy]

You know Kitty, I think that life would definitely be a lot easier if it came with sub titles :). I must say, I like the way you think. The yoga was pretty interesting because I did not realize that it was really all about the breathing. The stretching was really great because it helped relieve the pain I still had from that session with the trainer on Monday. I am definitely feeling much better now. I remember reading that if you hunger increases then you may be exercising too much. I started walking at work during my lunch break and did not note a difference in my appetite, so I also began walking during my AM and PM breaks. Since I recently changed up my schedule I am no longer able to do so on Mon/Wed/Fri so when I do go to the gym to work out I do 20 (+ 5 cool down) minutes on the elliptical at a brisk walk level and then I use the circuit training machines for 15 minutes total. The work out with the trainer totally messed me up in more than one way; and I won't be doing that anytime soon. I was soo hungry! I definitely over did it. Since the Yoga class is once a week I think I am going to modify my workouts; since I walk Tuesdays and Thursdays I will do yoga and then two other work outs for any given week.

As for the Pity Party, I should have peed before I got all emo and turned into that horrendous Debbie Downer. I actually lost 2 lbs! Ok, I know its just one more than I had thought I'd lost. But this means that I am well on my way. 30 pounds left! My BMI is currently 35.7, which means that I am .71 away from reaching the "Normal" BMI range! I guess this means that I am back to my regular self :). The party is officially cancelled.

Yikes! Today I went to my best friend's step-brother's engagement party. And let me tell you something, she is an AMAZING baker. She made a 4 tier cake completely from scratch and then she had these little strawberries covered in white and regular chocolate decorated so they looked like they had little suits on (tie and all). Oh, did I mention the chocolate fountain. It took everything I had to keep away from all of the goodies. I brought my food and drank water and a diet coke. I don't know how I did it, but I made it home in one piece. A little later than I had anticipated, but I did have a good time.

So today, while I was waiting for the presents to be wrapped I walked all around Bed Bath & Beyond and found something called "Miracle Foot Repair Cream" I figured what the heck and got it. I was also able to get some therapeutic socks :); and finally I was able to get a copy of "You on a Diet". I had read an earlier thread in the forum about this book and I was curious about it, it seems like a pretty easy read. So I figured why not. Every now and then I am able to catch the "Dr. Oz Show" and the stuff that he says really makes sense, so I am hoping that I can really take something away from reading this book. What a day! And to think that I've only got 15 minutes left of it.

[OopsieDaisy]

My arms are killing me! And that was before the very mild workout today. I've already taken enough pain medicine for the day .. oh yeah, and I finally went to take my follow-up blood test that I was supposed to take 2 weeks ago. Ha! Oops, what can I say, I have been busy with work and school. It will just be a little weird that I will have to go back in another 2 weeks. Good night!

[I MUNCH SNOW]

SUCH inspiration for me! To hear all of you and your ups and downs. To hear the encouragement. To hear you living life.

So great to know that I'm not alone out here!!

KEEP it up ladies! Set an example for meeeeeee :)

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the comments, I think I am still taken aback by how we all start off looking for help from each other and somehow end up helping others in return. When I first started posting on the forums I was so amazed at how other people were staying true to their programs that I was really in awe and would visit their threads often and religiously. I remember just logging on to see if an update had been posted yet so I could get in there and read it. Just a tad neurotic, but that's me and I happen to like me just the way I am :).

So today was a little better than yesterday; but only a little. I feel like I have not posted in a long time so here it goes. A couple of weeks ago I finally went to check my mail. Yikes! Almost 2 months worth of mail shoved in a little mail box, not a pretty sight at all. Stuck in between piles of flyers I discovered, to my unhappy surprise, a Jury Summons. Thankfully I had the foresight to open it right away. I reported for jury duty yesterday. And without discussing any particulars of the case at hand or divulging to much information, let me tell you something. I happen to work at the court in the County where I live so trying to weasel out of jury duty would not really work for me, since well .. I have or currently work with the staff that handles the daily jury pools. I show up and sure enough a friend of mine is checking people in. I say nothing because I don't want to make it obvious that I know her and I don't want to give the impression that I am going to get special treatment. Most of the other ladies I work with would have said, just get me out of here and somehow weaseled their way into the dismissed panel. I simply smiled and handed my completed juror card over and took a seat. Now I know that I will get paid while serving on a jury, but I figured a couple of days not a problem. Why did I get placed on a panel for a case that is going to be over a month long? Oh, my friend (or so I thought) screwed me! At least that was my first reaction. Two days later, I have been told that I will not know whether I will actually be a juror on this case for another month or so; so until then my jury service is up in the air. Part of me thinks maybe I should have been more weasel like and asked to get dismissed; but at the same time, if I had seen someone doing that I would have been so angry. It's not right! So here I am waiting and will be waiting to see if I will be picked. In the meantime I hope that it does not turn into one of those sequestered jury things; I might not be able to follow my program :(. Ha! Priorities right?

School is going well. I have been able to work out going to class in the middle of the day and work full time with success; though the drive back to work tends to be a little more stressful as I am not sure I will be able to make it back on time. Though I usually do. Sometimes with minutes to spare :). The professor is pretty amazing and I really enjoy his lectures. I am hoping that if he gets to know my work well enough I could get a letter of recommendation from him. Though I am not sure what I would like him to recommend me for yet. Perhaps a PhD program? Who knows. But I do need to start planning my future or at least thinking about it, right? Wow! The future. It amazes me to think of how abstract it was to me just months ago. The more invested I become in my program and in becoming a healthier me I find that I am re-discovering what I want and who I am. Or maybe this is just a new me with more nerve. I am more prone to speak up. I smile more. I am finding it easier to talk to strangers. I am a little gassy right now (ha! just making sure you are paying attention). While I am not going to go streaking anytime soon; this new me is really something else. The fog that I used to live in is really dissipating and I am loving every minute of it. Who knows, maybe I will take up dancing in the near future.

I did not go and work out today because I really did not feel up to it, plus I do not want to over do it. Yesterday I stopped at the store and picked up some pain reliever for my arms and have been taking it today; I was able to get a good night's rest thanks to it. I made sure to take some more this morning and again after lunch. By the time I had come home I thought that maybe the pain in my arms was really gone. Wrong! About an hour ago I started to feel that familiar ache, so I took something and rubbed Icy/Hot on my arms .. and *ahhh* I feel much better! I really do not know what is causing this pain, but this is the second time this is happening. Last month was really bad, I could barely get to sleep because I would be so uncomfortable. But this month, I have a plan. And I am resolved to stick to it. Now I just have to work on going to bed and actually falling asleep at a decent hour. After all, that is an important part of any diet; rest. Who would have thought that sleeping would help in weight loss. Now that I have successfully defeated the dreaded number 32. I need to defeat number 30! I am feeling a "Take No Prisoners" attitude bubbling inside and number 30, you are going down! Literally and figuratively speaking. After all, I've got my trip to Cancun and London to think about.

[I MUNCH SNOW]

Wow, London and Cancun! That's awesome! To be able to go as your goal size and be through your program would be stellar! Imagine the possibilities.... the clothes you can wear, the stamina you'll have! A confidence booster no doubt.

Fascinating reading everyone elses journey, you're right. It keeps me grounded and feel normal. :)

[Kitty]

Thanks for all the encouragement Daisy. I really needed a pick me up from people who are on the same path as me.
Now that you are done your first session are you finding that your progress has slowed or stayed the same? Is the end in sight?

[OopsieDaisy]

Hi Kitty!
Sorry, I have been MIA for a while. My social calendar has been getting very full lately and I have hardly had time to come on and update and chat like I used to. I have definitely noticed a difference in my loss. I used to average about 2 pounds a week and now I am down to maybe 1 per week. Though I recently got "the list" from my consultant after my latest blood test; I am re-evaluating my food choices and making sure that I have not been eating something outside of the perameters of the program. At this point I have 20 pounds to lose, so I am getting a little anxious; but at the same time I am dreading the fact that I won't have someone telling me what I should and should not be eating. The structure of the program makes it so that I really can't screw it up, and I hope that I can figure it out for myself. I feel like everyday that passes I am actually able to see myself at my goal weight. At first it really felt like one of those impossible hurdles and I could not even imagine how I would feel; a more fit and healthier me.

Ok, so I got the dreaded list. Yikes! I already printed it out and am going to make sure that I am following my program to a T. I've got 20 pounds to go and this is NOT the time to lose sight of my goal. I just hope that I can still find a bathing suit for my vacation at the end of August :). I would buy one now, but I have no idea what my size will be in a matter of months. These past few days have been very exciting and exhausting at the same time. I have been hanging out with a really great group of folks and they keep inviting me back for more. My 16th week weigh in is coming up at the end of this week and I am excited. I don't think that I have lost as much as I did last month, but I am ok with that. The fact is, I am still losing weight and that is a good thing. I will have to elaborate more on my weekend later. :)

[Rachelson]

I am confused, what is "the list?" GREAT job on only 20 lbs to go, keep up the good work!

-Rachel

[OopsieDaisy]

Hi Rachel,
The list is a series of questions that your consultant will send you if Dr. Cohen feels that your blood work is not quite up to par. Which could be due to a number of different things. Like not drinking enough water, I read someone about cough drops (which I did take for a sore throat, apparently a no-no), etc. It's kind of like a "here look at this list and makd sure you are following the rules". Thanks! I can't believe it either 20 lbs.

[apachejenn]

20 pounds to go! w00t awesomesauce!

[OopsieDaisy]

I am still having a hard time believeing that I am just 20 pounds away from my goal weight. I am feeling pretty good right now; I don't know what happened this weekend, but I feel like I have been re-energized. Though I am going through that whole "I am not hungry at all" phase again. After reading "the list" I decided to take it back to basics and in a strange way it feels like I am starting my program all over again, minus the sugar withdrawals. So I am excited, oddly enough; and cannot wait until I get to start posting on the re-feed forum. 15 pounds away from ordering re-feed!

[mommabear]

Yeah, Oopsie!!!! 20 pounds away!!! Congrats!

[OopsieDaisy]

Ok, while it was not my best 4 week result ever; I am still glad that I lost another 5 pounds! I am now 19 pounds away from my goal. Yikes, just saying that nineteen really makes me think. Who would have thought that I would have come this far along and still be put-putting away.

[Layne5]

That's SO AWESOME Oopsie! Wow! Just keep it up...you'll be there by summer! :)

[OopsieDaisy]

Wow! 18 to go. How did this happen exactly? I feel like every day I am that much closer to my goal and it keeps getting more and more surreal. According to my handy dandy BMI calculator I am .33 away from being in the "Normal" range. Yahoo! In 2 more pounds I will be there.

I went shopping .. and then shopped some more, though I take some solace in the fact that the second round of shopping was for costume jewelry at the Fashion District in LA and only spend $1 per piece that I bought. I got some cute rings and necklaces :). As far as my clothes shopping goes, I went nuts! I am sure that I will probably be swimming in this clothes later, but it doesn't matter; I will invest in a fabulous collection of belts :). Lately I have been feeling the urge to be more girly. I know it sounds odd, but I guess I am really just a late bloomer. I can't wait to wear my new leggings; yes I said leggings! I am feeling on top of the world right now, I never imagined that I would EVER feel this good about myself. Watch out world, here I come!

[mamaduckling]

I know what you mean about feeling more girly. I look back and realize I was hiding in my clothes and not wanting to bring attention to myself. Now, I am back to wearing jewelry and even some makeup on occasion. It's a good feeling and I am liking it a lot! I also have urges to purge things from the house often, too. Like today - I took out 3 HUGE bags of garbage and things to recycle. It's nice to make the house a little leaner, too! I look forward to when my Wii tells me I'm in the normal range. At least it says I am no longer OBESE! I have lost 14 points on my BMI. It amazes me every day!

[m01e]

Way to go Daisy! Before you know it, you're on refeed already!

Quick question, was there any point in the program when Dr Cohen changed your plan? Like when you signed up for your 2nd 12-week session? Or is it the same "prescription" all through out?

[OopsieDaisy]

Thanks for the support! To date, my program has not changed. Even though my last blood test was less than spectacular it has remained the same. I thought that maybe it would change because I was more than half way to my goal after my first 12 weeks; but no change. To be honest, I think the only reason the program would change would be if your body is not responding to the program.

[m01e]

i'm just curious, what do you mean by less than spectacular about your blood test?

to date, i had 2 blood tests - first upon joining and then after 4 weeks on the program...

is it every 4 weeks or does it depend on whether Dr Cohen would require me or not? thanks!

[OopsieDaisy]

While I am no doctor, I did notice that my sodium and potassium levels were up from the previous test; which had gone down from my first blood test. I had taken some supplements, sore muscles (so high potassium); and lately I had been drinking a lot more soda (so higher sodium, which of course means that I was probably retaining water too). The blood tests are supposed to be when starting the 12 weeks and then again after the first 4 weeks. If you request that your program be continued, then you would go again when you start the new 12 week session and about 4 weeks after. So you are really looking at 2 blood tests per 12 week sessions; unless there was something going really wrong with your program in which case I am sure Dr. Cohen would want to monitor your progress more carefully.

Guess what?! 17 pounds to go! I've stopped drinking soda for about a week, yikes! So I am onto coffee now. BUT I make sure to drink some more water whenever I drink coffee. I don't know why, it keeps me from feeling guilty about all that caffeine. Even though I had reported a 5 pound weight loss on my official week 16 weigh in, I am already down another 2 pounds! I hope this means that I have made it through yet another pleataeu. I am still drinking between 3.5-4 liters of water everyday so of course many bathroom breaks.

I did feel a little bloated last night, I was not really hungry; but I still had a fruit portion left for the day. I think maybe I was bored or a little stressed so I had an orange, but it was so close to my bed time that I felt a little uncomfortable when I was trying to fall asleep. So, from now on. No more snacking after dinner. Even if I do have fruit and/or crackers allowances available for the day. It just was not really worth it.

This weekend was fun, as usual; and of course went by far too quickly. I went swimming with my little sister, and I was exhausted. So much that I went for another cup of coffee. I borrowed my mom's swimsuit and lets just say my endowment is no where near hers, so it was interesting trying to think of ways to keep that top from exposing me :). Who knew?! A size 12 swimsuit would EVER be too big for me. With my upcoming vacation I really should get out there and look for a bathing suit. But I've still got 17 pounds to go, so I don't want to get something that I will be swimming in later; at the same time I don't want to look like a stuffed sausage because I overestimated my size in 17 pounds. Oh decisions, decisions.

[apachejenn]

I'd recommend a tankini with a shelf bra. Then if one part of you shrinks or is smaller than another, you can swap out/have different sizes tops and bottoms.

Old Navy has some cute ones, and then you don't feel bad about tossing money at it.

[I MUNCH SNOW]

Target has some really cute pieces without breaking the bank. Often times they have tie sides that you can expand or contract? Also tie tops that you can adjust the tightness there too? Just a thought!

What a great problem to have!!! 12's are too big!! So proud of you!!!

:)
Mindi

[Layne5]

Yes!! A cute triangle top with tie sides on the bottoms would be the perfect solution for you! Target and Old Navy are great recommendations. Get it now so you can choose from a wide variety. We want a picture!!! :)

[Wendy2618]

OopsieDaisy, you are doing SO great!!! How cool to see things as "too big". :rolling2:

I understand about feeling more girlie. I feel like I have some curves again...the right ones. I've even been doing my hair more rather than always clipping it up. As for the bathing suit, I agree with the basic 2-piece with ties, more room for adjustment. I've been holding on to a Victoria's Secret swimsuit catalog I got in the mail, just because it made me happy to think that I can fit nicely into one of those cute 2-piece suits when I get to where you are!

[OopsieDaisy]

You ladies are amazing! I love that we can all come here to cheer each other on! I am definitely going to hit up Target and Old Navy for swimsuits now. So today is apparently the day. I have reached a normal BMI! Me! Normal .. of course I have already updated my ticker. This means that I have 16 pounds to go and then re-feed. I am a little terrified about going into re-feed. What if I don't do it right? I think it just feels like a daunting thing because I've built it up so much in my mind that it's giant-sized.

Yesterday was a good day. Or at least I think it was a good day. I did not quite finish my 3 liters of water, but I was at 2.75 which is not bad at all. I have decided to leave my lunc fixins at work so that I just prepare my meals there and don't have to worry about preparing the night before. I think the food tastes better that way anyway. I did nearly forget my breakfast this morning though; it feels like that has been happening more often lately. I think it's because I have been spending so much time on those girly things I did not do before that it is kicking everything else out of my brain. Would you believe me if I told you that I wore make-up yesterday? Well, I did. And I even fixed my hair .. beyond just brushing it. I have even been wearing my new fashion jewelry and color coordinating with my clothes.

I know it's only Tuesday, but I cannot wait for the weekend to be here. I am going to a party on Friday and I think I might be going to Disneyland too. I have been contemplating getting an Annual Pass; and I think that I am going to go for it. I know it can be pricey, but I will make it worth my while :). I still cannot believe it. 16 pounds to go, 11 to go before I order re-feed. Maybe I will get to order re-feed before my 24th week. I think I am on week 17 right now. Yikes! This is too surreal.

[Layne5]

Word of advice....take your food to Disneyland! As you know, it's a mecca of yummy treats! I LOVE Disneyland... I have the annual pass...it's awesome. Have fun!:party6:

[I MUNCH SNOW]

I'm SO jealous that you ladies live close to Mickey!!! Hahaa. I live close to Niagara Falls. Not NEARLY as cool. LOL

I can't believe that Oopsie! That's so fantastic!! A NORMAL BMI!!! I'd just be giddy with myself as well. Congratulations. To have made it in 17 weeks too.... wow... that's awesome! It gives us all hope!

Packing lunch for Disney should be pretty easy I'd think. It wouldn't take up too much space in a little back pack. I did dry an apple in my dehydrator last night. That could be a great munchy snacky at Disney for ya. I always love to snack. LOL. We all probably do though for that matter.

Congrats again! Let the suit shopping begin!!!

[Wendy2618]

I have an annual pass to Disney and have gone a couple times while on Cohen. Definately pack your food to go. I have a small, soft cooler with flexible ice packs (all from Target and fairly inexpensive). When going, I take all meals and snacks for the day, made and packed in plasticware. The whole cooler can fit into a locker that you rent for the day. The lockers are inside the parks at both Disney and California Adventure. Then in my flat purse that I carry, I keep an apple and crackers in case I get snackish. The nice thing is that both parks now sell fresh fruit. I also tend to buy a bottled Diet Coke while I'm there. And since I know you like your coffee...last time I was there early and bought a coffee, the cashier told me to keep my receipt and I can get refills all day, which I did take advantage of since we were there all day. Plus, while you're there you'll get a little extra walking in!

[mommabear]

Yeah Oopsie!!! Job well done!! You are so close!

Don't worry about re-feed. I was very worried about it also and then I did it and it was just fine. The only thing I did not like was how it interrupted my little routine of always knowing what I was eating for each meal...because by the end of the program I had my weights memorized. (>: Re-feed will be just fine!!

[Layne5]

Hey Wendy! I did not know that about the coffee!! I LOVE the coffee at D-land!Thanks for the tip!

[Kitty]

Daisy: Are you still excercising? I was thinking of starting small but I wanted some input before I got too serious. Plus I just noticed that you only have 16lbs to go. I remember you hating the number 32. I am really excited for you.

[OopsieDaisy]

Hi Kitty,

Sorry for the delayed reply; I have been away from home and away from my computer. I was going to the gym about 3 times a week and doing 20 minutes of cardio and then a round on a circuit training machine for a couple of weeks. But since I have been travelling recently; my exercise has been brisk walks at work; I try to get at least 2 15 minute walks, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Sometimes there is a 20 minute lunch walk. And it really depends on what is going on at work as to whether I will take the walk. I started small and gradually worked my way up. I've been increasing my pace, but I am very careful to make sure that my appetite does not increase; if it does then I bring the intensity down a notch.

Hating the number 32 seems like forever ago now. I weighed myself yesterday morning and *dun dun dun* I have 14 pounds to go. Which means that I might just make it to my vacation at my goal weight (in September). Oh Cancun, watch out! I actually went to the beach this weekend and wore a two piece, albeit one piece looking bathing suit. I still cannot believe it, in 9 pounds I can order re-feed! I think I am currently on Week #18, so I am actually hoping to be done by the end of my second session, 6 weeks 14 pounds .. we will have to wait and see. I still cannot believe that I have a normal BMI! 24.56 Yahoo! I have to start thinking of a new mini goal for myself. Maybe 126, I will be 10 pounds away from my goal and 5 pounds away from ordering re-feed. Someone pinch me!

[Layne5]

Yikes! You are SO CLOSE! How exciting! You should change your nickname to "bikini girl"! YAY!!!! :surf:

[I MUNCH SNOW]

Oopsie, way to gooooo! I remember you talking about the dreaded 32, and it doesn't seem that long ago! The weight is just flying off of you. Keep up the stellar work. You'll be at goal before you know it!! EEEKKK!! At the rate you're going you'll be done with re-feed by Cancun as well! WOOOOOOOOT!

[apachejenn]

Yaaaaay! You know we expect pix, riiiiiiight? ;P

[Rachelson]

Dear OopsieDaisy,

Did you make it to your goal? I am still a ways from mine and have hit a big plateau. It’s almost been a year since I started the program I am at 78 lbs weight loss but still have quite a ways to go. Just curious if made it to goal and to re-feed?

-Rachel