Picking myself back up....

[RobinC]

I have long known that I stuff my emotions with food and had thought I began to alter that pattern as I experienced success with P1D. What I failed to admit to myself was that when my youngest daughter moved out to live with her dad I would feel so alone and depressed. I knew the move was coming and in many ways know that it is exactly what she needs right now, but rather than sitting down and having a good cry, talking to a trusted friend, or doing things I enjoy, I sequestered myself in my home and turned to food.

If going back to an addiction is considered falling off the wagon, I didn't fall off... I leapt head first, tumbled down the Christmas food ravine, bumping, bruising and scraping myself along the way only to find that the journey wasn't as fulfilling as I had made it out to be in my mind. Now I must climb out of the ravine, chase down the wagon and get back on!

While I didn't gorge myself like I used to, I did eat non-Cohen's approved foods and drank alcohol. I will pay for my deviations and I accept that consequence. I am back, still a little sad that my daughter left, but ready to take care of me.

[mamaduckling]

Hang in there RobinC, you can do this because you want to do if for you. Emotions are such a huge trigger for so many of us and the only way we ever comforted ourselves was with food. That's the way we grew up. But, the more you stick with 1PD, you will recognize those triggers and divert that eating activity to something else. One thing I have found (besides this forum) is writing in my journal. I have recorded my journey over the last 15 weeks (including the week prior to beginning) in order to recognize "the old me and the habits that made me fat"! It's interesting to read it over once in a while to see the mental changes going on as well as the physical ones.

Not only are you doing it for you, you are also doing it for your daughter. She will be so proud of you for improving your health and your longevity. When you get to spend time with her, you will have more energy and stamina and that will be a positive influence for her as well. I am so sorry that you have to deal with that while making a life change, but you can get through it, with the help of all of us here. We will be more than happy to help keep you from leaping off the wagon - we will support you. :hug:

[KMac]

Hi Robin,
Emotional eaters unite!! That is most of us in a nutshell- happy, sad, depressed always revolved around food for me. Looking back it was like throwing a wrench into a mind that was full of troubles already. Food didn't dilute what I was feeling, or wipe it away it just added more sadness, negativity. You are on a journey with this diet, there will be bumps along the way- the best thing you can do is learn from this and move forward. Some people fail and fall backwards, not learning a lesson & laying there complaining about it. Others fail foward, learning from there mistake and moving foward.
Work on you & getting back on track w/ dc- everything else will fall into place. :)